Dear A to Z,
This weekend I hooked up with a girl who I am kind of into (a rare find at Cornell, I know) but as I walked away from her apartment the next morning I realized that I did not know what my next move should be. Should I follow the 24-hour rule and text her when I am blacked-out the following night? Should I send a sober late-afternoon text to tell her that last night was fun, let’s do it again? Or should I just call? I feel like the standards are rapidly changing everyday, so how do I know what’s appropriate?
Dear Follow Up,
Whatever move you make will be sending a message to the girl, giving her a cue as to how much you are into her (after she reciprocates, we will help you interpret her response to you). If you text her at 1:15 a.m. the following night from the steps of the Palms, she will assume you are most likely drunk and looking for a hook-up. Effectively, the “booty call” has been revolutionized into the “booty text.”
If you text her the following afternoon, you are sending her casual signals that you are looking to spend time with her outside of the bedroom. Don’t go with, “Last night was fun, let’s do it again.” We advise a more respectful (and effective) text — something along the lines of, “It was great getting to know you, I hope to see you again.” Although they both share a common goal, the latter is much less forward in girl-speak. If, in fact, you only got to know her feminine curves or her kissing style, rephrase for maximum efficacy.
Antiquated etiquette guides would instruct a gentleman to call a girl on Monday for a date that weekend, and then follow up later in the week with more concrete plans. This, of course, is not how it happens in college. That said, the phone should not be forgotten entirely. Why not call her a day or two after your encounter? If you are really into her, this may be just the move you need to stay on her radar. Of course, we can’t promise that she feels the same way about you.
A girl’s response to your move of choice will tell you what the next step is. If she doesn’t text you back the night you texted her from College Avenue, she probably is either offended that you would booty text her or she’s “just not that into you.” If she responds the next day to your “24-hour rule” text then she is hoping for more than a last call hook-up and is trying to initiate sober conversation. Don’t shy away now — sober talk can lead to drunk talk, which can lead to morning number two.
If she initiates the follow-up to your first encounter, take it as a compliment. What your friends might call a clinger is more likely just an Ivy League woman who is confident in her sexuality and knows what she wants.
A to Z