As we’re nearing the end of the school year, we’re getting antsy for all the end-of-year parties and formals in the next few weeks so, for this week, in lieu of a serious Top 10 list (is that an oxymoron?) we’ve opted for a countdown of top drinking games. See mixology on page 11 for drink recipes to play the games with. And, oh yeah — shout out to Sallie's frat boy friends (and that random pre-frosh) for all their extremely helpful, extremely inebriated input.
Comparable to when cavemen discovered fire, Pong is the fire of every college student’s life. It’s not just a game, but more of a way of life. From quaint community colleges to Ivy League schools, everyone knows Pong. Since the game is so widely played, the alcohol variations are endless! You can play beer pong, wine (go for Andre — it’s way cheaper) pong, vodka pong (not for the first time drinkers or freshmen), tequila pong or (see below) Cornell-related or Cornell sports-related variations of pong. What also separates pong from the rest of the (six-)pack is strategy and patterns you have to know. When I play with my partner (we’re a professional team and our shirts are in the mail), we will switch sides when one of us is getting rusty and missing one-too-may-shots (Shots! Shots! Shots!). Especially when playing with a frat boy, they will ramble off the different ways to arrange the cups to have an optimal chance of getting the ball in the cup. Patterns include crack house, pyramid, diamond, the eye and more. Like traveling to a foreign country, every frat will have different lingo for the exact same set up. It’s confusing (especially after playing three rounds of tequila pong), but pong players are helpful and will always be willing to drunkenly shout at you “make it a quadrangle!”
2. Kentucky vs. Cornell
Although sadly this year’s incredibly epic basketball season is over, it was — as a certain Sports Editor incessantly reminded everyone — really, really epic. So epic that AKB actually codified a drinking game to go along with it. Actually, it wasn’t so much a drinking game as a “drink then justify that shot by pretending it's part of a game.” (Of course, after we lost it has become much easier to justify all those shots, either while reminiscing about the good times or while still mourning our losses.) Obviously most of the drinking games on this list can be adapted to Sweet Sixteen variations, but if you’re hardcore you probably don’t want a game with rules; take a hint from AKB and and just figure out “games” that involve justifying your shots after you’ve taken them. Check out her March 11 article for details.
Easily described as the rich man’s drinking game, Quarters will have you dragging your piggy bank across campus. To play, all you have to do is bounce a quarter off a table to have it land in a shot glass or cup for the ambitious. Mr. Moneybags who is throwing the quarter is called the “shooter.” The shooter either will bounce the quarter into an empty or filled glass. Each round begins with two shooters until one of them gets it in and then passes it to their left. (Watch the madness ensue if you are already drunk playing this game. “No your other left! Make the “L’s!”). There are different ways to play this one as well, including one with a “community cup” that is surrounded by each player’s drinking cup to form a ring that looks like a flower. Its geeky cousin would be the game Spiderwebs, which is played with a pong ball in lieu of quarters. Its Canadian cousin would be the game Moose, played with quarters but being bounced into an ice tray (while you’re waiting for jello shots).
Kings is the drinking game of royalty. Each drinker selects a card on their turn and everyone must comply with the rules of that card. Again, different people play with different meanings for each card, but I generally use Ace is Waterfall (everyone drinks while the person who drew the card is drinking), two is you, three is me, four is floor, etc. (you can e-mail us for the rest if you’re curious). The suit cards get more interesting: Jack means a brief game of “Never Have I Ever,” one who draws a queen becomes the question master and the king makes a rule. Rules can be anything and this is where kings games get crazy. One of my personal favorite rules is called “Mushroom” and that’s when you put the card on top of the beer can or cup in the middle and after several cards, it begins to form a giant pile until it collapses and then you must drink. (One time we went the entire game without dropping any cards. We felt a great sense of accomplishment that evening.)
6. Ro Sham Bo
Remember learning Rock, Paper, Scissors as a child? It became a way to solve all of life’s little problems. (Who gets the front seat of the car? I’ll rock, paper, scissors you for it!) Introducing, the All Grown Up (strange show) version that captures the forever entertaining nature of Rock, Paper, Scissors. In Ro Sham Bo, you count to Ro (1), Sham (2), Bo (3) and either hold out your hand in a rock, paper or scissor. You know the drill, rock beats scissors, scissors beat paper and paper beats rock. (No, you can’t use gun! That’s a cheap move!) If you lose, you drink. Then you just repeat until you can’t remember where your hands are.
7. Mario Kart
And you thought driving that Rainbow Road level was difficult while playing sober! Fun to play if you just want to sit around your dorm/house instead of hitting a frat or a bar, Mario Kart is the go-to game. Now that the Nintendo Wii has an actual steering wheel, you will spend countless hours drinking and watching your friends pretend to be stepping on a gas pedal and falling over when they drive off the road. Other racing games that can be substituted if you don’t own Mario Kart (bummer) or you want to change up the characters (because Mario can only laugh so many times before I throw a Koopa Shell at him!) are Diddy Kong Racing (old school N64 classic) or Crash Team Racing (Sony Playstation).
8. Miley Cyrus
We’ve all been there. You’re at a frat and you hear the lyrics “I hoped off the plane at LAX” blasting through the speakers. Suddenly, you see their pupil’s dilate, they get sweaty with excitement and then their hands are up in the air like they just don’t care. You then hear that blood-curtailing cry of a frat boy: “IT’S MILEY! TURN IT UP!” Frat boys love Miley Cyrus (they’ll deny it, don’t even bother asking him) so they’ll be fully on-board for this game. You go on Youtube (or watch it on loop on the Disney Channel for those lucky people who have cable), find any episode of Hannah Montana and get ready to get very drunk very fast. The rules are simple: every time a laugh track plays for something that isn’t funny, you drink. Unless you find the adorable things tweens do hysterical, you’ll be downing your drink faster than you can say “Nodding my head like yeah!”
9. Masturbation (+/- NyQuil)
We promised one of Sallie’s fratty friends (heehee, that sounds funny) that this would make it onto the list (even though it is more of a guy’s game than a girl’s game). The idea with this game is that, once you’re already fairly drunk, you try to see if you can finish spanking the monkey before you pass out. If so, you take a shot; if not, well, you’re already passed out so it’s a little irrelevant. To spice things up a bit, add NyQuil in the mix and see if you can still yank one out.
Oops. We really intended intended to make it to 10, but maybe we shouldn’t have started drinking so early in the writing process, right Allie? Allie? Allie, where are you? Dammit, did you leave me here alone again? I’m going to finish your beer, then. RLD