Do you know that point when your eating a meal and you think to yourself “I feel full. I should probably stop eating now.” And then you don’t? That’s kind of like watching 2 hours of Hell’s Kitchen. I’m full, yet I’m going to gorge myself on ridiculous people and kooky sound effects.
Hour 2 picked up right where Hour 1 ended. We got to hear Baby Spice tell Chef Ramsey how she thinks Nona should go home because she snores and is a good for nothing. And the producers decided to be cute and show how EVERYONE snores in the house by amplifying their snores. And what is a better way to stop the chefs from snoring then to have a little army of crazy drummers? This disturbed Raj to the point where he was breathing “a llittle bit creepy,” as Baby Spice put it. (good luck getting up the Slope, buddy). So then everyone decided to reenact the heavy breathing, just for kicks. Chef Ramsey told Raj to slow down and viola: breathing fixed. If only Ramsey could tell me professors “Give Allie an “A!,” I would be set.
The “Asian Marching Band” was now in the ktichen to present Chef Morimoto (yes, from Iron Chef) and the next challenge: make sushi. Jillian, who never made “Chinese food ever” seemed confused over the sushi. And after some product placement for his new Sushi Knives, the teams were set up for failure. And the prize? They get to keep the knives.
Cut to Raj talking about how “great” it was to keep the knives. Please Hell’s producers, don’t give this man a knife.
Curtis and Trev took themselves out of the competition for the knives by admiting that they were the weakest team on the men’s side. It looked like a 5-year old at a Japanese restuarnt decided to make a ball out of food. Ramsey then began to judge the women’s team, who were upset that Gail didn’t know how to make good sushi (because clearly, all asians wheter they are Japanese or not, should have this in there genes). But Nona & Jillian scored 8 points. Baby Spice and Emily brought the total up to 15. The men had a low, but consistent number of pieces being accepted or rejected. But Boris brought it home for the men to clicnh their 2nd victory.
The men also won a free win tasting trip in San Fransisco (and Raj’s inner Mr.Miagyi came pooring out of his eyes at the sound of it). The women were forced to stay behind and prep the sushi. Gail cried because she’s Asian, not specifically Japanese, and thus letting the team down. And Baby Spice blamed her culture too. The economy must be hitting Hell’s Kitchen too, for how else can you explain why they flew coach on a Southwestern flight? Ramsey seemed content as long as he wasn’t sitting next to Raj. The reason why this prize was also significant? Apparently the winner of the entire competition would be the spokesman for the company (cut to Boris chugging back his glass). That poor, poor company. Looks like someone got into the liquor cabinet before they signed that deal.
Cut to Raj (again) who drank like he just ran a marathon. Ramsey reminded him to sip the wine, not chug it. But Raj was too busy reminding us that when he drinks once a week, it’s a heavy amount.
Meanwhile, the women were in the kitchen. The overall consensus? “Sabrina is a bitch.” And to make matters worse, they then had to eat “disgusting seadfood.” Mind you, I love seafood. But I’m not a fan of squid and urchins. So I understand the unrest. Gail got upset that everyone didn’t like the asian seafood and took offense, for some reason.
Chef Ramsey wanted to make James’ life easier (because the weakling will never be half the man that JP is), he assigned one person from each team to be assistant maitre’ds. Jillian was freaking out and couldn’t imagine being an assitant maitr’d. Vinnie was just as confused and his hair looked like something out of a Slim Jim commerical. It offended me.
“It’s a miracle that Raj, at the age of 49, is alive and not in prison or an asylum is a miracle” said James. Chef Ramsey was pissed that Raj was being Raj, called him a fat ass and told him to listen. It’s only episode 2 and I’m already so used to this.
Vinny decided to be “smart” and tell the customers that if they don’t order sides, they’ll get their food faster. James wasn’t having any of that. Poor Raj actually seemed to get the grunt of the argument. Vinnie slightly admited that Raj had nothing to do with it and that Vinnie just didn’t have confidence in him.
The only thing worse was that Emily can’t cook meat. Why was this a problem you ask? Because she’s on the meat station. That’s like me being on the Psychics station. I’ve never taken a psychics class.
And after Melissa put the wrong order up, Jillian and Melissa were forced by Chef Ramsey to switch places. On the blue side, Curtis was taking 2 hours to plate food without the wasabi. Curtis, who is from The Little Enginge That Could school, was just happy that he tried. Raj’s garnishs were stacking up almost “right outside the kitchen.” Ramsey was yelling “get out” more then an umpire yells “Out” in a game. Finally, Chef Ramsey walked the entire blue team to the back of the kitchen, kicked open the door and told them all to get out.
Somehow, Camp Conselor Chef (while saying that as a good thing) got in a fight with Raj about being condescedning and began to call each other a bitch. Boris called Raj a “waste of life” and threw plastic bin at him. Raj ranted about how he was a mongoose in a snake pit, fighting against the cobras. Oh, how the might crumble.
The red team finished their first dinner service and Gail cheered. The men were sent back to the dorms to figure out who was going up for elimination. First nominee: Raj. Why? Duh. The second nominee was Boris? WHAT? “He thinks he’s Superman and he can do everything.” But Chef Ramsey wasn’t happy with that choice. So he dragged Vinnie up to the firing squad.
And after some minor squabbling, Chef Ramsey fired…Curtis.
I felt bad for Curtis, but that’s how is rolls in Hell’s Kitchen (get it? Rolls? Because that’s why he left…never mind). See you all next week!