What a Girl Wants
Drunk guy yelling: I know what women want! (Points to girl walking towards him) I know what you want!
Girl: You wish.
Build Me Up Buttercup
AEM professors talking about assignments
Professor #1 to #2: They'll always find a way to let you down, no matter how easy you make them.
Friend of worldly traveler: Yeah, the bug she picked up in Morocco is getting worse, she's really sick.
Friend of friend of worldly traveler: OMG, ewww! Why would she ever touch a bug in Morocco?
The Space Really Matters
Girl #1: During microbio, he told me he thought you were really awesome.
Girl #2: Aww...that's so sweet!! Wait, who is Mike Robio?
A Perfectly Balanced Diet
Guy: So you're allergic to corn syrup?
Guy: So what do you eat?
Girl: Vodka and red bull.
Not Even an ROFL?
Dateless friend: So what did he say?
Girl on date: I don't know, I sent him an emoticon but he didn't LOL or anything. Apparently PhD students don't LOL.
Dateless friend: If I was a PhD student, I would so LOL.
Frustrated Egyptology Student: There's a random bird hanging out in the middle of this sentence and I have no idea what it's doing there.
Drink It In, Girls
Two Girls Talking About Evian Water and Fancy Water Misters: It's not a spray bottle, it’s a mister. And it makes it delicious on your face.