After taking a little break, GG was back and ready with enough drama, sarcasm and outfits to make up for the wait.Serena had gone home with cab stealing hottie, but they stayed up the whole night talking because she didn’t want to be another one of his conquests. Way to be a strong girl, S! Serena walks to her Psychology of Business class only to find out that cute cab-stealer aka Colin (Sam Page) is her professor! Oopsies... That’s one way to get an A!
Nate’s going to visit his dad at the prison he was just transferred to after a night with Juliet. And speak of the devil... Nate runs into JuJu Bear in prison! She quickly explains to him that she’s a volunteer for the prison’s literacy program and spends her time reading to inmates (aka conspiring with Ben).
AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
Apparently there was a lack of raccoons on the Upper East Side because Jenny Humphrey is back in all of her dark eye makeup, annoyance-filled glory.
She wants to go to Parsons and has an interview with Tim Gunn who MIGHT write her a letter of recommendation if all goes well! (Celeb guest appearance number 1 for the episode) And who should find this out but Blair who had banished her from Manhattan in the first place!
Blair tells J she can have amnesty until midnight as long as she goes nowhere but her interview and as long as she doesn’t come back until next year. Jenny gladly accepts the terms because she’s sooooo serious about her work. I mean, it’s her future after all! Blair then puts her little minions on a stakeout to make sure Little J keeps her word.
Chuck then stops by the penthouse to talk to Jenny, but Dan steps in and stops him. So, he leaves and makes off with his blueprints. Oh yeah, and Jenny’s sketches. Wait... she might need those...
Serena goes to speak to Colin and tell him that although the night before had been fun, she’s his student and they need to be professional. Seeing as relationships between students and faculty are kind of frowned upon in academia and all. And she doesn’t want the night before to affect how she is viewed in the class. Colin then comes up with his own proposal. Colin will get to know her, and take her as his date to some party honoring him as being the Hottest Bachelor, if she puts off his class for a semester. S obliges. Because clearly after one night she knows that this guy is more important than her studies.
Chuck calls Jenny and tells her that he ‘accidentally’ grabbed her sketches, but that she can come pick them up from the Empire. Jenny tries to tell him that she can’t leave the apartment, but he doesn’t care because he has a meeting. So, Little J goes to get her sketchbook. B’s minions see her leaving, go to follow her, and then call Blair to tell her that Jenny went to see Chuck. Blair gets pissed that Jenny’s disobeying orders and decides to take matters into her own hands with a trip to Tim Gunn’s studio.
JuJu gets a call from Ben. She tells him that she thinks Nate will understand the situation because he has a father in prison. Ben says he understands because she’s his little sister. (Now we know for a fact!) But once they hang up, he asks some random convict to point Archibald out to him. Uh oh...
Nate then tells Juliet that out of paranoia he had called the prison to find out if her brother was there or not, and since they’re pursuing an honestly policy he’s telling her. Juliet then tells him that she has something to tell him too, but then Nate gets a call. Apparently his father is in the infirmary because he had been attacked by his fellow inmates. Nate sprints off to check on him, leaving Juliet alone with a text from Ben basically owning up to the attack. Point taken.
Serena goes to the penthouse to borrow some jewelry for her big date with Colin. Lily finds out about her business class and tells Serena that she’s so proud she’s finally taking her work seriously and not just focusing on boys. Now would be an awful time to drop the class...
Jenny goes to her interview with Tim Gunn. Everything is going great; she’s handling herself professionally. But then they bring in her dresses that supposedly stand for female empowerment and strength. The black dresses have WHORE spelled out on them in bright red paint. Tim Gunn dismisses Jenny’s lack of caring for what she supposedly stands for. I wonder who is responsible, eh Blair?
Chuck then calls Dan to assist by inviting Dan and Jenny to Tim Gunn’s observer party so that she can plead her case and MAKE IT WORK! (Project Runway reference, anyone?)
At the party, Serena is wearing another ridiculous outfit! A black pantsuit with huge soldier pads, a massive cleavage cutout in the front, a low-cut backed jacket, and a weird nipped in waist. Ew.
Ivanka Trump is the one throwing the party! Celebrity guest number two for the episode! And Isaac Mizrahi is a guest! Celebrity number three! Wtf is this?!
And as a direct contrast to S’s questionable taste, Jenny is dressed to perfection in a pretty black dress with pretty blonde curls and normal makeup. Did we fall down a rabbit hole or something? Why does she look good? Jenny then goes to appeal to Tim Gunn. She explains that the letters weren’t her doing. Tim says he’ll arrange for another interview. And then he drops the bomb that Chuck had arranged everything. Shit’s gonna hit the fan...
Blair’s minions inform her that Jenny is at the party. She then has to come intervene.
The minions confront Jenny, and Jenny finds out that they don’t know why exactly Blair hates her so much right now. Scandalous...
Blair then walks and figures out that Chuck is behind EVERYTHING - Jenny coming back, Jenny going to his apartment, Jenny’s interview, EVERYTHING. Chuck tells Blair that he gets pleasure out of watching her squirm.
Jenny overhears all of this and decides to stoop to their level, frustrated by everyone messing with her life.
GG then sends a blast about exactly why Jenny left Manhattan, what with her ‘Chuck’ing her v-card out the window. So now the joke’s on Chuck and Blair!
Jenny’s super happy with herself, but then Dan comes and ruins her fun by telling her that he was proud of the person she had become but not anymore. Wahh. To redeem herself, when Chuck and Blair try to start again, she tells them that she’s refraining because she’s better than them. When they were in love they were invincible, but now they’re just on the path to mutual self destruction.
Lily, after finding out that Serena had been planning on dropping business to be with Colin, uses reverse psychology on her to make her try harder by saying that she’s pretty so being with Colin would make everything easier so that she didn’t have to work. Of course Serena’s infuriated and wants to prove her mother wrong.
Later, Colin tells her that he’ll try harder for his class because the class is so important to S. You know, not because he’s a professor at Columbia or anything, but because of Serena. And that it’s a 7 week class, so they can spend the 7 weeks getting to know each other as teacher and student and just wait for each other.
Chuck comes to Blair’s door and says Jenny was right. They can’t keep fighting like this. They need a truce. What had happened was fate and tragedy. Playing the ‘what if’ game won’t change things. They have to stop holding onto the pain regardless of the fact that it’s all they have left. Awww, how deep. Now can you please get back together??
Juliet is then crying on the phone to Nate. He mistakes what she says as her dumping him because his father is in prison, even though she’s really trying to come clean about everything.
Good thing she’s at Colin’s place to get her check... WAIT. WHAT!?
Colin’s paying her? And telling her to be patient? Does this mean Colin’s in on it too?
Are JuJu and Ben working for Colin? Are they working with Colin? Is this all one big mind fuck that will end in everyone confused and socially ruined?