Never Your Dad

Guy #1 (talking about business concepts):...it does that as  long as it creates growth

Guy #2:Your mom creates growth.

—Stella's

This Won't Get Me A Job

Guy #1: For real, they make this shit up.

Guy #2: Seriously.

Guy #1: I have never even seen a carbo cation. Never. Have you ever seen a carbo cation?

Guy #2: No.

Guy #1: I've been alive for 19 year and I have NEVER seen a carbo cation.

Guy #2: Seriously, this class sucks ass.

—After an Orgo Review Session

Not Chex Mix?

Girl #1: Salt and vinegar chips are such a dirty snack.

Girl #2: You're a dirty snack.

—Risley

At Least You're Reading

Guy: Are you reading fan fiction again?

Girl: Yeah.

Guy: Are you reading gay fan fiction?

Girl: Why would I read heterosexual fan fiction?

—Libe Cafe

She Works At Subway

Girl to female friend: Did you know that women have better perception of colors than men? It's because we were the gatherers.

Random Guy: But you can't gather sandwiches...

— Collegetown

Show A Girl A Good Time

Guy on cell phone: Dude, I'm single. It was worth it. I'll pay for the wall. I really don't care.

—Ho Plaza

Those Will Be The Best Memories

Drunk Guy #1: Oh, wait. What time is it? I have tickets to see Kid Cudi!

Drunk Guy #2: Dude, that concert ended, like, four hours ago...

Drunk Guy #1: No...wait, did it really? (Looks at time).

—Collegetown