Don't Jump to Conclusions

Guy: You're taking a bus somewhere this weekend? Where are you going?

Girl: I don't feel comfortable telling you.

Guy: The abortion clinic?

-CTP

So Is Pamela Anderson

Girl: She is such a slut.

Guy: She's not a slut. She's a temptress.

-Willard Straight

Or Collecting Stamps

Guy playing Xbox to Male Friend: We need to find another hobby. Like having sex. Actually having sex.

-Collegetown Apartment

Playtime

Guy to Girl: Why didn't you show your tits? They looked like they were ready to come out and play.

-RPCC

All The Single Engineers

Single Engineering Guy: Cornell Engineering is the biggest sausagefest since the Last Supper.

-Becker Dining Hall

A Night of Romance

Guy to his Girlfriend: Alright, first I'm going to take a shower, then we can crack open that bottle of wine and watch Star Wars!

-Cornell Street

Tell It Like It Is

Clean-cut Girl: *matter-of-factly* I mean, she knows she's a motherfucking shitfaced whore.  I just reminded her.

-Thurston Ave. Bridge

Milkshake

Engineer: My phallus brings all the girls to the yard, they're like, damn it's totally hard, I could bang you, but I'd have to charge.

-Duffield