For most, the start to classes is always a VILLAINOUS experience. After a week of being up at school without much responsibility, it’s painful to wake up for that 8:40 or 10:10, sit through an hour lecture and then be told that you have homework assignments and readings due in two days. Professors: we get it. You have to be hard on us in the beginning so that we start to think that you run a “no nonsense” type of class, and that way we’ll take it more seriously, before you can eventually lighten up and show your more relaxed side, and then we can lighten up a little too and eventually create the all-cherished bond between a professor and his/her class ... or something like that. But c’mon, we need to be eased into this shit.
Speaking of shit, this past week has been chock full of it. But literally. On Friday, Cornell University Police rushed to a particularly dicey crime scene to respond to a report that an individual had “defecated on a chair” in a McGraw Hall classroom. We’re not sure what we find more disturbing –– why this VILLAIN decided to poop in a classroom or how he was able to wipe? Notebook paper? Skipped it? We’re not sure we want to know. Moving on.
On Saturday, Bill Nye “The Science Guy” ’77 showed us why, well, he is the science guy, dedicating a new solar clock to be embedded in the façade of Frank T. Rhodes Hall. It was a HEROIC gesture that had us all waxing nostalgic about that Bill Nye the Science Guy episode on solar power we watched in 7th grade science class. Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Science Rules! (Watch the theme song on YouTube if you didn’t get that one.)
Saturday night, Cornellians rocked out HEROICALLY at the free concert on the Arts Quad. Mash-up artist The White Panda dropped some beats and twisted some tunes, and good times were had by all. Really though, “White” Panda? That’s as VILLAINOUSLY uncreative as “Striped” Zebra or “Brown” Bear. They probably spent as much time thinking about that name as it takes them to click a new song on their laptops. Bam!
We were particularly upset when we heard that Libe Café was being renamed, until we realized that its name was only being elongated. Don’t get us wrong, we were excited to hear about Amit Bhatia’s ’01 HEROIC gift to the Café, just as long as we can all agree to keep calling it Libe. The Amit Café, the Bhatia Café, or the Amit Bhatia Libe Café, just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
That’s all for this week, everyone. Have a HEROICALLY long weekend, and don’t do anything VILLAINOUS — like showing up to class on Monday.