Approximately two-and-a-half millennia after the fall of Rome, a new breed of Gladiator emerged: the American Gladiator. Premiering on Sept. 16, 1989, the series became a smash hit for CBS, enjoying a lengthy run and accruing quite the cultural niche for itself. But seven seasons later, (that’s 1996 for those of you keeping track), the series was cancelled due to diminished ratings and a lack of popularity. This year, the show returned to the air.
The premise of the original show was simple: two average Joes each fought one of eight male ultra-ripped and muscle-bound “gladiators” (in reality, pro bodybuilders with a lot of extra time on their hands) in a variety of challenges. Point values were awarded for winning events prior to the last event: Eliminator. These points determined how much of a head start the leader got in the Eliminator race, which determined the entire match.
For the sake of political correctness, two average Josies also duked it out versus a set of equally ripped
Lady Gladiators. Each season was based around a tournament, at the end of which was the championship,
pitting the best two contenders of the season against each other.
Sporting aliases like Ice, Nitro, Laser and Turbo, the gladiators were fine specimens indeed. Twenty lucky contenders (10 of each gender) donned lycra singlets to flex their muscles against these not-so-gentle giants in hopes of winning money and fifteen minutes of televised fame. The perpetually amusing struggle of the slightly-more-skilled-than-average athletes against the way-more-skilled-than-average athletes provided weekly entertainment.
In addition, the announcing team — a deft amalgamation of sport commentator and circus ringleader — provided the extra narrative for an always dramatic, sometimes sentimental romp through the Gladiator Arena, as the show moved ever closer to the championship round.
Despite cranking the entertainment knob to eleven, NBC hasn’t strayed too far from the tried and true. The events remain more or less loyal to the originals, except that now the events are crazier than all hell! For instance, in the final Eliminator obstacle course, the contenders must swim under a pit of fire before exiting the pool and then running up an inclined treadmill running in the counter direction.
This show gibes exactly with modern-day television viewers’ pathos: fast-paced, glitzy and borderline absurd.
Indeed, the gladiators play into all sorts of prejudices regarding race, ethnicity and brawn. The gladiator named “Toa,” for example, is presumably of Polynesian descent, evident because he enters the Arena to a fanfare of tribal drums. Hellga (with two L’s: vicious) is another good example of this ethnically questionable characterization. According to her bio on the official website, her real name is Robin Coleman: height, 6’ 1”, 205 lbs. Her blurb states, “When she stomps into Gladiator Arena, most sensible opponents run for cover rather than risk a Viking funeral. She may have left her horned helmet on the boat, but she hits with the force of Thor’s hammer, and quickly sends opponents straight to Valhalla.” … Really? Really?
But the Gladiators are not the only caricatures. In last week's episode, for example, a Christian minister entered the Arena as a sub for his injured friend who was nicknamed “The Hebrew Hammer.” What was the minister’s motivation for going on A.G.? “I believe that this show is a good platform for spreading Christian values,” he said.
In an age of hyper-political correctness, it is interesting to ponder this emerging trend: if all races are equally mocked, is the characterization still offensive?
It’s difficult to chalk this television show up to be something culturally significant or important. All the same, it’s hard to deny its entertainment value.
In fact, NBC’s website is already buzzing with chatter for a season two, so let’s all cross our fingers that the show is picked up for another go-around. If you or any of your loved ones are interested in testing your clout on American Gladiators, open casting calls are being held now at various Gold’s Gyms around the Los Angeles area.
If you don’t want such a close brush with the athletic Adonises, however, you can witness all the glory and defeat of American Gladiators on NBC at 8 p.m. EST.
God Bless America, and God Bless A.G.