A common misconception on college campuses is that sorority houses qualify as brothels through old ‘blue laws’ by having five or six single girls under twenty-one all living together, and that because of these old laws on the books, house parents living alongside sorority girls are a necessity.
The Sun searched in vain for a New York State law regarding brothels, but did come across several news articles as well as an urban legends reference page, Snopes, that refuted this rumor.
The Snopes page believes the misconception emerged around the 1960s, if not earlier. The site stated that “if any so-called ‘brothel laws’ anywhere tie a building’s classification as a bordello due to the number of occupants, we’ve yet to find documentation that proves this.”
The Boston College newspaper, the BC Heights, featured a 2003 piece entitled “Brothel Myths Complicate Off-Campus Housing,” in which they quoted Richard Roeper from the Chicago Sun Times as saying that the brothel law myth is “the most widespread piece of university folklore making the round[s].”
The article went on to attribute some of these rumors to 17th century Puritan blue laws, which have been used for years to explain the lack of sorority houses, even on college campuses with fraternity houses, for years.
Katie O’Neill ’09, president of the Panhellenic Association, was familiar with this rumor of the brothel law, but could not speculate about its validity. Instead, she pointed out why sororities continue to have house parents.
“I think that the reason sororities continue to have house parents is because it’s a system that works really well. Having a house mom to help manage the house and be a mentor to women in the chapter adds another dimension to the experience of living in a sorority house,” O’Neill stated in an e-mail.
“The reason I love house parents is because they are a link between each new member class as they live in the house. They can pass along the lessons the last group of women living in the house learned, and share their hilarious stories. It helps build a sense of tradition and history in the house as the house parents share stories of past sisters who've lived in,” O’Neill continued.
Caroline Maxwell, the house mom at the Delta Delta Delta sorority house — commonly known as Tri-Delt — was interested in becoming a house parent after hearing about it at her Mormon Church. Maxwell has been a house parent at Tri-Delt since January 2007.
Maxwell explained that a few people in her congregation had experience being house parents. The benefits of being a house parent initially drew her in. Her benefits include free rent and utilities, all her food being paid for and having the whole house to her husband and herself over school breaks.
When she applied, Maxwell was interviewed by the house manager and chapter president, both juniors at the time.
“They asked one to two situation questions and asked how my husband and I would deal with them,” Maxwell recalled.
“I think the number one thing that across the board people are looking for is that usually people like to see house parents who are going to be staying for a while, more than just a year, because like any job you want some consistency,” Maxwell said.
On the surface, being a house parent seems like an excellent deal, but Maxwell hypothesized that not everyone would be so enthusiastic about living in a sorority house.
“Since there is no alcohol in the house, I interpret it as, if I did drink, I wouldn’t be able to drink in the house,” Maxwell said.
“And since one of the rules of the house is no alcohol in the house, my husband and I felt like we could be here, also because the fact that everyone in the house is under-age. The fact that there are strict rules made us ultimately decide to do this,” Maxwell said.
Angela Nelson grad, another Mormon house mom at Alpha Epsilon Phi, also speculated that the no alcohol rule could be a reason Mormons were attracted to the job.
At AEPhi, Nelson lives with her husband and five-year-old daughter in what she calls the biggest space she has seen for house parents.
Nelson said that her daughter was one of her biggest concerns before moving into the sorority house.
“The previous house parents told us the girls are great with kids. Occasionally she will hear words she’s not supposed to hear, but overall they are good with her,” Nelson said.
“I keep an eye on it to make sure, but we haven’t had any problems,” Nelson said. “My daughter loves it, all summer long she was asking when are the girls coming back.”
Between balancing her grad student work and having a family, Nelson made sure to define her unique position as a house parent.
“Different houses have different levels of responsibilities, for instance the Kappa Kappa Gamma mom has accounting and food ordering responsibilities,” Nelson recounted from her interview at that sorority house.
Nelson’s responsibilities include facilities management including plumbing and electrical issues, as well as overseeing the cook and the housekeeper.
Maxwell’s responsibilities at Tri-Delt additionally include coordinating renovations of the house.
One sorority on campus had problematic house parents last year. The rumor that circulated was that the house parents, who had a baby, used their baby monitor to spy on the girls in the house. According to the different rumors, the house parents either had a blog about the inner workings of a sorority house or they may have been planning on writing a tell-all novel.
The president of the sorority at the time, who chose to keep her identity and sorority anonymous, would not confirm or deny the rumors, but did comment on the relationship between the girls of a sorority and their house parents.
“The relationship between the women of a sorority and house parents requires a certain degree of trust. When that trust is at all compromised, however true or false accusations are, action must be taken to preserve the integrity of an individual chapter as well as the image of the Greek system as a whole. This is especially important when considering the scrutiny that the Greeks already face,” the former president said.
More involved house parents do try to have a good relationship with the girls in their house.
“I know all of their names and the ones who are around more I get to know a little bit better,” Nelson said.
There is a delicate balance in having a relationship with the girls of the house without losing sight of the job of a house parent. Nelson specifically mentioned that she wouldn’t feel comfortable having the girls in her house babysit her daughter — not because she couldn’t trust them, but because she didn’t want them to feel obligated to help her out.
The years spent as a house parent can be very financially beneficial. Some houses, like AEPhi, give their house mothers a salary in addition to room and board. But as Nelson said, “you need to have your own life at some point.”
But for now she would enthusiastically come back next year.
As she put it, “why not?”