Somehow, yet another semester has come and gone, bringing with it the typical academic suffering, alcoholic merriment and multitude of Four Loko induced crime-alerts that we have come to know and love. As classes come to an end and finals kick into gear, my mind can only focus on the temporary freedom known as winter break and the joys of the holiday season. Santa, can you hear me?
For some, the holidays are a time to catch up on sleep, reconnect with families and give their livers a much-needed rest. What a charmed life. For the rest of us, winter break is a time to festively self-medicate and down enough eggnog to deal with the onslaught of questions from our friends and family concerning our scholarly pursuits, love lives and post-grad plans. In my book, dealing with an existential crisis is always easier when buzzed and wearing a Santa hat. Sorry that I’m not sorry that I beveRAGE like all Mariah wants for Christmas is me. To make sure you can get through all the holiday cheer with your sanity, self-respect and tolerance intact, I give you the ultimate eggnog recipe. Jingle bell rock, indeed.
1/3 cup sugar
1 pint whole milk
1 cup heavy cream
4 ounces bourbon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon vanilla
A touch of vodka
Start by separating your egg yolks from the whites. Whisk egg yolks in a mixer until they lighten in color, and then, add the sugar. Continue to beat until the sugar is completely dissolved and add the milk, cream, bourbon, nutmeg and vanilla. Stir. In a separate bowl, whisk the egg whites until they form soft peaks and add one tablespoon of sugar. Beat until firm peaks form. Whisk the egg whites into the rest of the mixture. Chill and serve. If conversations are particularly painful, add vodka as necessary. Alternatively — buy packaged eggnog and add bourbon to your liking.
This is efficiency at its finest.Don’t get me wrong — I’m no Grinch. I love Christmas as much as anyone else, but drinking makes the holidays that much more entertaining. Live it up, and stay safe.
Have a Merry ChristmaHanuKwanzaakah and a Happy New Year.