I get it indie rock stars. You need to make money. And teen sagas involving vampires make lots of money. So obviously getting your music into said sagas equals money! But really, the New Moon OST? I’m positive your intentions were not to try to redeem a lame movie via the soundtrack. I’m even more positive you’re all definitely in it for the money and you have to feel at least a little bit dirty for contributing to this one. Better yet, you must even be feeling a little bit of regret after the “almighty” Pitchfork gave your soundtrack a measly 5.4. That’s rough.

Alas, I’ll still keep my fingers crossed that you’ll get some cash flow from this endeavor since you were probably swooped up into this disaster by the brilliant music supervisor Alexandra Patsavas (best known for being Josh Schwartz’s right hand music lady behind The O.C. and Gossip Girl soundtracks). So with the persuasion of Patsavas in the mix, the blame is now only 99 percent yours for agreeing to contribute.

But before I start getting too kind, let me remind you of the foundation for this whole mess: Twilight, the first installation. When I took a trip to the local motion picture theater last year to see what this Twilight fanaticism was all about, I left the cinema thoroughly unimpressed and wishing Regal Cinemas had given me extra points on my Crown Club card for enduring such awfulness. I also believe that anyone with half of a functioning brain must have left with the same sentiment. And since we all know that teen brains can only reach a capacity of 49 percent intelligence, it made complete sense that those naïve youngsters ate it up.

In all seriousness though, the movie was two hours of suck. So I ask you indie musicians this: are you all so desperate to pull in some extra dough that you felt it okay to sacrifice your artistic integrity by lending your talent to a movie lacking the number one fundamental of film: entertainment?

To ensure that I wasn’t alone in my distaste of what the Twilight franchise has done to indie artists, I called up two of my friends who, much to my bewilderment, are fond of the Twilight book series and have seen the first film. When asked about whether she was excited about the soundtrack for New Moon, and having no idea of my stance for this article, Caitie Clark ’10 responded, “The entire Twilight franchise is so cheesy and tacky and I don’t understand why these awesome indie bands would want to be associated with it.” My point exactly, Caitie!

And to add insult to injury, Caleen Carter-Patton ’10 responded to the same question saying, “I haven’t really thought about the new soundtrack because in the first movie the music was so badly placed that even if the music’s good it won’t help the movie at all.”

So there you have it, two senior girls who actually enjoy Twilight think this indie-tastic soundtrack wasn’t exactly a brilliant idea …

Alexandra Patsavas might want to hold a gun to my head after reading this, but doesn’t the sound of Paramore’s pop-punk rage seem a more fitting soundtrack for the theatergoing crowd who has a hard-on for Edward Cullen’s pale-faced oddities than Bon Iver folking it up?

Of course, to top this all off, the soundtrack isn’t even very good. I hate to say Pitchfork was right, but this time, I fear I must. Marc Hogan wrote in his review for the popular music site, “Lykke Li’s feedback-streaked piano ballad ‘Possibility’ is a relative bright spot, but like the rest of the tracks here, it pales in comparison to the work on her own records.” I whole-heartedly agree.

So, it’s clear that this was a very poorly thought out decision by our indie music sweethearts, and upon a listen to the New Moon OST you’ll hear that it shows. Whatever Peter Jacobs said in the space next to this is probably muddled by the fact that he is still a teenager and therefore, at this point in time, is working with a brain functioning level of 49 percent or less.