On Tuesday, someone installed a sea monster outside my apartment building.

Yes, you read that right — a sea monster.

Over the last couple of weeks, construction crews built what can only be described now as an octagon-shaped concrete nest for the large metal creature that was, as I said above, installed on Tuesday.

Well, come to think of it, maybe it’s not a sea monster. Maybe it’s just a large fish.

Could be a barracuda.

Should we name it? What could we name it?

Let’s name it Sarah. Sarah Barracuda — in honor of our long lost vice presidential candidate.

Welcome to the neighborhood, Sarah.

Now go away.

* * *

Why, you ask, have I brought up the gigantic metal fish sculpture outside my apartment building? Because, to me, it’s indicative of a much greater problem – one that was so eloquently and coincidentally discussed on Tuesday — the same day that Sarah Barracuda was installed — by my fellow columnist Carolyn Byrne.

I’m talking about Ithaca landlords.

Now, just to be clear, I’m not implying I’ve had problems anywhere similar to the problems that Ms. Byrne has seemingly had with her landlord. In fact, I’ve had a mostly-pleasant experience with mine during my law school career

That said, I would kind of like to know why my rent has been raised each year for the last three years, when it is quite clear that my landlord is rolling around in a pile of money so high (even in this wonderful economy we’re in right now) that there is enough money to throw around to install a FREAKING SEA MONSTER in front of my building.

(And the Dow just dropped another 400 points … )

Is it just because they can? I’m unclear.

But I do know that there are plenty of other students in Ithaca who feel like they aren’t exactly getting what they are paying for.

And so, while I feel slightly bad sticking it to my landlord, since I haven’t been treated poorly at all during my law school career, they are in the unfortunate position of having unwisely installed what seems to me to be essentially like a giant middle finger sticking out of the ground at all of the students who happen to pass by it.

It is, according to one student, “the biggest waste of money I’ve ever seen.”

Everyone wonders why they did it, and where the money to do it came from. But the answer is abundantly clear — our rent checks.

With the amount of students in Ithaca who pay their rent themselves and are going to be paying loans back for years on end, it really is unbelievably insulting.

And it needs to go back to the unholy depths of Cayuga Lake from whence it came.

Because Sarah Barracuda represents the missing dresser in Ms. Byrne’s apartment.

Sarah Barracuda represents the missing washer and dryer in my house all year my senior year.

Sarah Barracuda represents the broken heat in Ms. Byrne’s apartment.

Sarah Barracuda represents the sidewalks on College Ave. that aren’t shoveled after a big snow.

Sarah Barracuda represents sketchy cameras installed in bathrooms.

Sarah Barracuda represents leaky ceilings.

Sarah Barracuda represents mice.

Sarah Barracuda represents clogged toilets.

Sarah Barracuda represents students being taken advantage of by those that have inherent power over them.

And Sarah Barracuda needs to go.

* * *

So, I’ll third The Sun’s call to reactivate the Rental Housing Authority Commission, and Ms. Byrne’s call to implore the Common Council to make Collegetown housing reform a priority. If my landlord has the money to install a sea monster sculpture, surely the other landlords who aren’t installing such monstrosities are just pocketing the money (or, I suppose, buying themselves new flat-screen TVs). Either way, the money should be going to fix the buildings, or going back to the students – and until there’s some oversight, that’s never going to happen.

And, maybe while they’re at it, the Common Council can look into the deplorable state of commercial real estate in Collegetown. There are still way too many vacant storefronts in an area that should be bustling with business. And there’s no other logical reason for it other than landlord greed. It’s time to make these people realize that they need to be more realistic and help to redevelop the businesses that Collegetown used to house.

And, finally, can someone please tell me what exactly they are doing to the old Bank of America building on the corner of College and Dryden?

Eric Finkelstein ’06 is a former Sun managing editor and a third year student in the Law School. He can be reached at efinkelstein@cornellsun.com. Saturdays Excepted appears alternate Mondays.