I’d like to preface this article with a potential trigger warning. If possibly humiliating sex acts upset or disturb you, turn the page.

If you’ve ever watched porn (you devil, you!), you’ve seen it. It starts with a tight shot on a usually enormous penis and a man or woman with a snake-like ability to unhinge their jaw. It ends with a bout of serious thrusting. Then the blowjob-ee­­ pulls his dick out of the mouth and blows a big old load right onto the blowjob-er’s face. And there you have it: the cumshot. The pop shot. The money shot. The facial.

Whatever you want to call it, it’s a moment of pornographic perfection — the supposed marker of an “authentic” flick. Up until that point, you never know if that elephantine cock is just being fluffed every now and again without ever delivering the goods. It’s also just plain good closure at the end of an exhausting scene of fuckery. Not seeing an orgasm would be like not knowing if the dogs and cat ever got back to their family at the end of Homeward Bound. You’d just feel sad, confused and a little hurt.

I’ve been on the receiving end of a splooge sprinkle twice in my life. Neither were very pleasurable experiences. If one argument against the cumshot is its demeaning connotations, my first time was a prime example. After a fight about my blossoming infidelity to a partner and our subsequent reconciliation, makeup sex included a facial that was nothing short of vindictive. At least he asked first. And to be fair, I said yes. But to be honest, I felt terrible afterward.

My second foray into goo-face was largely uneventful, except that in remembering how awful the first time was, I rekindled my extreme aversion. Washing semen off my glasses after that (better than getting it in your eye!) was a very emotional moment. Gross. And emotional.

So on a personal level, I’m against the facial. Maybe there are more pearly masks in my future, but I won’t be asking for one any time soon. The men I spoke to about cumshots were largely against them. Most women I approached about the subject didn’t want to talk about it. I guess I need to pick a better opener than, “What are your thoughts on cumshots?”

Those responses are telling. Almost all of the men I spoke with were against coming on someone’s face because they perceived it as a debasing act — so either they’re truly upstanding characters, or they were lying. One guy I asked said that even though he fantasizes about cum shots, he would never give one to his girlfriend. While the women mostly didn’t say anything, almost all of them showed expressions of pretty serious disgust when asked. It’s ingrained in us: to put your bodily fluids on someone is an act of supreme disrespect, dominance and objectification. For some people, cumshots should be left to the realm of fantasy.

Then what do you do when the debasement is exactly why it’s hot? Humiliation and objectification get a lot of people’s rocks off — myself included. Is it wrong, then? Is it actually objectification if you ask for it? And if it isn’t wrong to want it, is it wrong to want to do it?

A cumshot immediately provokes a visceral response, whether it’s repulsion or arousal. But what we have to remember is that it can’t stand by itself. The cumshot alone means almost nothing. So you’re jizzing on a person’s face, big deal. It doesn’t inherently stand for misogyny or domination until you splooge on someone’s face with the intent of mentally or emotionally harming them. And when that’s the case, your little cum droplets can have a huge amount of hurtful power.

The one undeniable thing about a cumshot is that for the giver, the pleasure is all mental. I can’t see what is physically pleasurable about removing your penis from a warm, wet place only to let it hang out in the chilly air. But I can understand the visual appeal of seeing the pop shot. Entire porn sites are devoted to the subject, from normal dudes coming on their ladies’ faces to freakishly large and totally fake wangs spurting gallons of yogurt onto everyone in the vicinity.

Maybe facials are best left to the pros, and sometimes even they brace themselves for it. Water down some vanilla pudding and flick it at your face if you need time to get accustomed to it. And be careful about doing anything you absolutely don’t want to do, especially if you ever feel pressured (this goes for cumshot givers, too!). And if you do ever sense that someone is doing this to upset or hurt you, get the hell away from that person as fast as you can — there are better people to get jizzy with.

A cumshot is not just an orgasm. It’s an act, and a very deliberate one. Its inspiration may come from porn, but you too can experience the feeling of hot, sticky liquid being shot on your face — in the comfort of your own home! Results may vary. But give it a shot, if you’re so inclined.