Tasked with unprecedented demand and no new beds, Cornell Housing (CH) faces great challenges in the coming years to place all students who so desire into on-campus housing.

And that is exactly how this article would start if it were a news item. However, this is my space, so I would like to give my angry opinion on the matter.

There are many more students that want on-campus housing than can get it. Specifically, these students want West Campus housing. More specifically, West Campus housing not in the Gothics. To complicate matters further, there are quotas set by the trustees that determine how many upperclassmen can live on West. There is also the in-house lottery, done in November, which lets students continue living in their West Campus dorms. Taking these factors into account, this year it was impossible for almost all seniors who didn’t do the in-house lottery to get a place on West campus, besides in the Gothics. For juniors, even the Gothics were not an option. It was only slightly easier for sophomores with a great timeslot. And it will stay this way for roughly three-year cycles, until the students who got into the new dorms when they were built and stayed in through the in-house lottery system graduate.

Yes, placing students into the houses they want is a great challenge. But if CH were to simply listen to students they would find that it’s a lot easier than they make it out to be.

Unfortunately, getting CH to listen is the most challenging part of the whole lottery experience. Last year I lived in Becker and I did the in-house lottery because I was afraid of not having anywhere to live the following year. I wanted to live with my good friend, but he was on academic probation and it looked unlikely that he would ever come back to Cornell. Well, four months later he proved us all wrong and got his grades up (I’m proud of you, bro). In March, he was lucky enough to block a nice suite in Keeton house with a view of Cayuga Lake. I called housing thinking there shouldn’t be any problem with facilitating a room switch of one single in Becker for one single in Keeton, especially since the Keeton room was empty. CH said the only way they could swap me into my friend’s suite, or hall, or dorm or part of campus, would be if I first signed a contract for a room I did not want. Basically I had to kick myself in the nuts and then beg them to help me get up. No problem, I thought, I’ll just sign it and then call them back.

However, unlike most Cornell organizations, you can’t always get through to CH just by calling during regular hours. When you call CH you are screened, vetted and I think nowadays you have to do a little sorority sketch to get them to talk to you. CH doesn’t answer your questions, they only tell you if it’s possible to answer your questions. Then they hang up on you. All calls are screened and few are directed to the main guy, who is the only person who can help you, explain to you why he cannot help you or take note of your concern on why the system can be plain-as-dog-shit-stupid. To get them to talk to me last year I had to call Skorton’s office. Yes, it is actually easier to get Skorton to help you than to get CH to help you. This year it was a cinch, though. All I had to do was say I was with The Sun. But, unless you are a Sun staffer, you will have problems getting anyone to talk to you.

The fun only begins when you actually get to talk to CH. I was told that it would be possible to swap my room, but I would have to find out who reserved it on my own, an impossible task in most cases. Going off his first name, I emailed every Jimmy on campus. He ended up being quite amicable (thanks Jimmy C.). Housing, probably surprised that I was able to get his name more than anything, quickly and easily facilitated the room switch. That’s a lot of red tape though, even by Cornell standards.

The problem is that instead of helping students with housing issues, CH acts like a landlord. A landlord who owns Eddygate, 312 College Ave., and half the houses on Stewart, all at the same time. A landlord who doesn’t give a shit about you but who happily takes your money. Except unlike a landlord, they don’t let you sublet, they don’t let you live with who you want (no co-ed housing, quotas to fill), and they don’t price their properties by their inherent value or by demand. Did I mention they don’t answer your phone calls?

The communication issues run deeper. This year, CH did not tell students in advance that they would probably only be able to block a single room in, say, Akwe:kon. CH had the numbers in November. Did they keep quiet so that students would not look for off-campus housing and have no other options besides the Ecology House in March? I mean, Cornell could never be that evil, right?

If CH doesn’t tell you, I will. I suggest that upperclassmen look for off-campus housing next year, instead of taking their odds in the general housing lottery. Most of the rooms (and likely the ones you want) will be taken in the in-house lottery long before you get there. Even if they’re empty, they won’t be available to you.

There are currently 150 students on the waitlist for housing. Some of them would even like to live in the Ecology House. But a housing contract can only be cancelled if you drop out. I doubt there’s going to be 150 dropouts, so how exactly does CH plan to get students off the waitlist if they don’t let students cancel their contracts? I have no idea. But there are probably 150 students who would pay to drop their contracts right now. I’ve talked to over a dozen of them. Some have singles, some have doubles. Regardless, all have much desired housing and can’t get rid of it.

CH, if you are reading this, here’s how you fix this problem. Make a spreadsheet. Give it two columns. In one column write down the names and room types of people who want to cancel their contracts. In the other column write down the names and desired room types of people who want to get into housing. Combine the two and start taking some names off that waitlist.

Anyway, my friend is on academic probation again (I’m gonna miss you, bro). If anyone needs a roommate for next year (off-campus this time), let me know.