Think hard: What was your most revealing sexual experience? Not revealing in the physical sense, like when your girl got that accidental glimpse of your goodies from behind (uggh); but revealing in the sense of letting yourself go emotionally and mentally, allowing your inner being to be just as naked as the outer.
Sex with a true lover is often totally intimate and emotionally intense. The moves, noises and impulses are real and unforced. You know this type of sex: eyes locked, hands clasped, hearts full. During such experiences, partners can become introduced to hidden dimensions of their lover’s personality, sense of humor or inhibitions, and let us not forget the hidden dimensions of a lover’s body discovered! You hit that uncharted sweet spot and exclaim, “Hoorah! For I have found the new world inside of your vagina.” With that, you continue to tour the area, sending your partner right over the edge. Seems the world was flat, after all. This emotionally-laden sex is good, can be great and sometimes is fantastic! Yet, it can also be draining. If you are in a relationship and feel you want more carefree and less emotional sex, I will suggest to you just one singular idea to bring home to mama: Home-made, fresh-from-the-oven Pornography. Get it while it’s hot!
I believe it is my chance to rationalize the claim that homemade porn is the first step toward creating an exciting and uninhibited sex life (as this may not be blaringly obvious to those who are not yet in the industry). On first thought one might see the act of filming as a source of anxiety and self-consciousness. Yet it is quite the contrary: Assuming the right lighting, pornography will bring playfulness and acceptance back into sex that is bogged down with intensity.
A porno requires teamwork. There is an end product to this act that doesn’t end up in a condom: the video. By working towards such a concrete goal as creating a sexy sex tape, you and your partner become teammates. More than ever do you want to accomplish the coveted team cum, more than ever do you want to make her scream, more than ever do you want that normally awkward position to turn out right (or at least right-side up). As partners in crime (indecent exposure, anyone?) and partners in love, you gain a feeling of commonality with your teammate. To this effect, my last rendezvous on film ended in proper teammate fashion with a high-five for a job well done.
A porno requires acting, so while in the act, you and your partner will be actors, not true lovers. Possibly the best outcome of making a pornography with your significant other is embracing the freakier side of sex. It is an open forum to share lusts and desires of all kinds without judgment. You lose sense of yourself and actually become the character you are emulating, whether that be a sexy librarian, forest nymph(o), robot, grandma or any other outfit available in your size at the local Salvation Army. All the nasty things you think about suddenly come out easier. All the requests you make are for the camera’s benefit rather than your own. Whatever comes out of the situation or goes into it is purely an act, dissolving all pressures to be a certain way during sex. The sweet girl becomes dominating. The dominatrix becomes submissive. There is an acceptance for trial and error after going through the actions of creating a pornographic video, as much of that is trial and error in itself.
What comes after watching the video is the ability to laugh at sex. Pornos are funny. They have ridiculous plots that begin with a sausage pizza delivery and end with the unusually generous tip of a blowjob. Amateur porn, especially, will have its bloopers, double-takes and oh-so-unfortunate camera angles. While watching these embarrassing moments, it is nearly impossible to take yourself or your partner seriously. Sex is revealed to be silly and childish at times, a feeling that hopefully will diffuse into your undocumented sex life, as well. Sex sometimes needs to live this way: carelessly, selfishly and free from judgment.
So I am suggesting this: Go find yourself a tripod and a camera (or even your Mac Book) and an interesting, yet private setting and strip! Oh yeah, don’t forget to bring a friend or you might be caught alone naked trampling through the woods. If your lover runs off with your clothes and you are stuck in this sticky situation, make sure to sing show tunes loudly, preferably from Grease; it keeps the bears at bay. What else do you need for a porno? A very silly, yet self-satisfying skit to begin the story. Start by listing your hobbies or things you always wanted to try in life. Have you been obsessed with the traveling hat salesmen since reading that book as a child? Would you want to be a prince coming to save his princess from a life without love? How about the lumberjack versus the environmentalist? Hmm … got some ideas percolating now? I bet you do, you dirty kid!
Emotional sex with intense physical passion does not need to rubbed out of your sexual repertoire, but have such sex sparingly. Sometimes its fun to just pretend. Now, go be actors! But, please, space yourselves out. We don’t want Cornell to turn into one gigantic porno set. Some of us actually use the stacks to study!
Mona G. is a senior in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. Erotic Epiphanies appears alternate Thursdays this semester. Feedback and submissions may be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.