Opinion

The Auto de fe: Alive and Well in Medford

Bill McMorris  —  Sep 5, 2007

The auto de fe was a ceremony used by Spanish inquisitors to publicly display condemned heretics just before execution. The ceremony would involve parading the condemned about the town square before reading the charges aloud and executing the “guilty.” The ritual, which many believed ended with the Inquisition, is actually still being used in Medford, Mass. today.

Rock the Barack

Mark Coombs  —  Sep 5, 2007

Here it is, the biggest piece of news you’ll see all day: there are a lot of unpopular people in politics.

(See. Told you it was big.)

And that, Dear Reader, is not all.

Ahem.

Here it is, the biggest piece of news you’ll see after seeing the biggest piece of news you’ll see all day: Barack Obama is not one of those people.

(Yep. I am on fire.)

Indeed, the junior senator from the Land of Lincoln is nothing short of a rock star — something he’s been called by more than just yours truly.

Seems like I’m just the only one who doesn’t quite get it.

Rediscovering My 8-Bit Roots

Behzad Varamini  —  Sep 4, 2007

007-373-5963.

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, start.

Start, up, down, left, right, a, b, start.

If you were able to identify any of the following codes above, you probably grew up in my generation and were a serious Nintendo player.

The first code will take you straight to the title fight with Mike Tyson in the classic Mike Tyson’s PunchOut!! The second will give you 30 lives in the epic run-and-gun battle game Contra. And the third will restore your life to full in the awesome arcade classic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. All for original Nintendo, release dates 1987, 1988 and 1989, respectively.

Wow. That’s when most students in Cornell Class of 2009-2011 were born.

I feel old.

I Would Found a Motto...

Rob Fishman  —  Sep 4, 2007

No doubt you learned scholars recall Thomas Jefferson’s celebrated paean to the male-to-male embrace: “We hold these… men … that they are endowed.” Or Abraham Lincoln’s 1863 car advertisement, “Four score and seven years ago, our fathers bought … a … [Jeep] Liberty.”

If you’re hip to these ellipses, you might have read Cornell’s Aug. 6 press release with approval: “Cornell University’s ‘Any person … any study’ named nation’s best college motto by magazine.” Read on, and you’ll note vice president for communications Tommy Bruce’s praise for our own truncated slogan, “The beauty of the motto is its inherent accuracy.”

Ideological Diversity: A Different Perspective

Mike Wacker  —  Sep 4, 2007

In his recent column dismissing “ideological diversity,” Gabriel Arana grad pulled a straw man, reducing the idea as an attempt to stack the biology department with Creationists, to ensure the history department has at least one fascist sympathizer and to recruit students based on ideology. In a column from David Wittenberg ’09 that appeared last school year, Wittenberg was skeptical of conservative students’ desire for greater ideological diversity on campus. But rather than providing an example of intellectual diversity gone wrong within Cornell, Wittenberg resorted to name-calling and baseless stereotypes, writing, “The Cornell Republicans are the party of Ann ‘John Edwards is a faggot’ Coulter ’84.” These columns themselves misinterpret what ideological diversity really means. Ironically, these columnists’ lack of understanding for a viewpoint different than their own shows precisely why Cornell should promote ideological diversity.

Yiddish for Dummies

Ben Birnbaum  —  Sep 4, 2007

At the risk of becoming (i.e. remaining) “that uber-Jewish guy who writes for The Sun,” I’ve decided to follow up my column from last week (“Ivory Tower Chutzphah”) with an unabashed celebration of the word chutzpah and other Yiddishisms that have crept their way into the American vernacular over the past several decades. I’ve provided definitions, pronunciations and creative sentences putting the words in proper context. Call it Yiddish for Dummies ... the Cornell Version.

What Not to Do: Cornell Style

Sep 4, 2007

Inspired by the recent article “Advice to Freshmen: Don’t Do It,” in which the New York Times warned college freshmen of pitfalls to avoid while living in the Big Apple for the first time, The Sun now proudly presents its very own list: “What Not to Do: Cornell Style.”

* Fail to fulfill the Cornell language requirement and realize you must attend Gallaudet University to pass your 300-level sign language class

* Tell people you’re from Long Island

* Play up the fact that you’re from “The City” and/or whip out “The Horace Mann card”

Dance Dance Skorton

Aug 31, 2007

We over at Heroes and Villains have been a bit disgruntled as of late. It’s not that we’re tired of classes (we are) or that we still haven’t unpacked from the summer (fat chance). We just haven’t been able to sign up for any VILLAINOUS sections yet. At this rate, finding sections that fit our time slots (read: nothing earlier than noon) is actually proving more difficult than [insert clichéd comparison here]. But despite our foul mood, H&V is proud to report that this week was filled with its fair share of drama, deception and triumph (and that was just the latest episode of Sunset Tan!)

Kvetch

Aug 31, 2007

Complain

You’ve heard that list “100 Things to Do Before You Graduate” and you’ve, of course, snickered like a 5-year-old when you saw “have sex in the stacks” on it. But I don’t live in fantasy world, so I think the list should really be “100 Things that Will Happen to You Before you Graduate.” And Number 32 on that list, just before “you will black out” and just after “you will pass out in a Donlon elevator,” is “you will get an open container violation”: a feat I had failed to achieve until this Orientation, when I got a ticket for pouring the water cup of a Beirut game out on the sidewalk. So, thank you very much Lt. Tyler for bringing me one step closer to completing the list. Now, if I could just find a girl willing to...

— WJM

Carp

Smokers face scorn, ridicule on Cornell campus

Aug 31, 2007

To the Editor:

I applaud Rob Fishman’s suggestion that we limit smoking to certain areas (“Take My Breath Away,” Aug. 28), but why stop there? We need to completely eradicate these parasites from society! I suggest setting up special smoker colonies, where these people can safely live out their nicotine-filled lives without infecting the rest of us. Especially at a school like Cornell, where diversity is not just accepted but celebrated, we need to show this minority of students where they stand! Together, we can help these smokers conform!

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