Everyone loves surprises. There are tasty surprises — like my buddy Justin’s surprise birthday cheesecake Emily made on Saturday. There are pleasant surprises — like going on Blackboard and seeing that a homework assignment is due in 2 weeks, not 2 hours. And there are, of course, startling surprises — like Lady Gaga. Recently, I’ve been surprised by a lot of occurrences in the world of sports.

The WNBA playoffs are underway! I found that one out on Saturday night while waiting for SportsCenter’s Top 10 plays. I had no idea. Linda Cohn’s closing remark as she reported that the Fever and the Mercury would be matched up in the finals: “Good stuff.” Unfortunately there was no connection made between fevers and mercury thermometers.

The WNBA update took me by surprise. One second I’m debating whether or not to adjust positions to scratch an itch on my foot, without the added dexterity a Snuggy would have afforded me; the next Lisa Leslie has played the last game of her career and the WNBA finals are primetime tonight on ESPN 2. Primetime!

Speaking of primetime, how about Marc Sanchez becoming the first rookie QB since the merger to start his career 3-0? There’s another surprise. Not surprising — Kerry Collins became the first Giant to throw 4 interceptions in the Super Bowl and then go on to start 0-3 with a different team. Seriously, Trent Dilfer completed less than half of his pass attempts that game and still outperformed Collins — of course I’m still bitter.

I was also taken aback this weekend by the realization of how badly my fantasy baseball team did this year. I made it to the finals — of the consolation bracket. In disgust, I haven’t paid attention to my team, the Cash4Cueto’sClunkers, during the two-week showdown for seventh place. Surprisingly, I’m currently ahead, 8-7.

To sum up, the Jets are playing as if they have a QB who posed for GQ, being reminded of the WNBA’s existence threw me for a loop, and I’m still getting over my fantasy team’s poor performance in the Justice League this season. However, it was the football team’s win over Yale on Saturday that really stunned me.

For the first time since being accepted to Cornell, I was not in the stands to witness an Ivy League win by the football team. The Red snapped a 10-game conference losing streak on the road which dated back to my junior year (in high school) — and they did it by making the Bulldogs look more like University of New Haven students than Yalies; with a bit of “trickeration.”

Jim Knowles didn’t waste any time utilizing his most versatile offensive weapon, senior receiver/part-time quarterback Steven Liuzza. On Cornell’s first play from scrimmage, Liuzza played both roles, receiving a screen from Ben Ganter and passing to classmate Bryan Walters for an 81 yard score. Surprise!

Also mildly surprising — it’s Bryan Walters, not Brian. Meanwhile, Cornell’s only offensive touchdown came on its first play of the game, while Yale’s came on the last play of the game. In between, junior Drew Alston set a Red record with 15 punts. Little known fact: Alston lives with two of my pals in Collegetown. Cornell’s win also marked the first time the football team has surprised me since they came out of the tunnel for last season’s home-opener without the coveted Cornell “C” on their helmets.

The win over Yale couldn’t have come at a better time. Yesterday it was announced that Yale was selected as the pre-season men’s ice hockey favorite in the ECAC, edging out the Red with 278 points compared to 272. At least we beat them on Saturday. Chew on that, Bulldogs.

Speaking of men’s ice hockey, while both Brendon and Riley Nash were named to the pre-season all-conference team — and Shannon Nash was announced as the team’s pre-season MVP — I was surprised to learn that it’s the ECACHWBA All-Conference Team. That’s an eight-letter acronym. No joke.

In a world full of uncertainty, upsets, and the great unknown, there was one occurrence over the weekend that didn’t surprise me at all. With a sweep of the Red Sox and their 100th win of the season, the Yankees clinched the AL East for the 11th time in Derek Jeter’s 14 seasons.

Suddenly, it all makes sense.

John W. Forman is a Sun Senior Writer. He can be reached at jforman@cornellsun.com. Backcourt Violation appears alternate Tuesdays this semester.