Halloween_2009
Top Story
Take That Recession! Skorton ‘Reimagines’ His Kitchen
October 30th, 2009Coinciding with the “Reimagining Cornell” initiatives that take up most of President David Skorton’s day job, the University’s fearless leader has brought his work home, so to speak, and decided to “reimagine” his kitchen. With persistence from his wife, who told The Sun that this makeover was long overdue, the Skorton residence will take on a refreshed and reinvigorated aura. Read More
Other
Synchrtron and Weather Machine: One & the Same
October 30th, 2009Top secret documents obtained from deep within Day Hall detail Cornell’s secret weather machine, buried beneath Alumni Fields. The device, known as the Wilson Laboratory Synchrotron, has been disguised as a high energy physics experiment for the past 50 years, but really it is the fabled Cornell Weather Machine Read More
Intramurals Vote to Add Instant Replay
October 30th, 2009Big news in Intramural Sports this weekend, as the National Council on Everything Intramural (NCEI) ruled on a long awaited proposal that would allow video instant replay at intramural games. The NCEI ruled 10,000 to 30 to allow cameras, setting off a wave of joy — mixed with trepidation — across the IM community. As a Division I program, the ruling will indeed affect Cornell. Read More
No Longer Pretty in Pink
October 30th, 2009Anyone who’s seen the absolutely fabulous pink breast cancer awareness sweaters the men’s ice hockey team sports annually was chagrined yesterday to hear that the team will no longer be able to have their cute and fluffy outerwear dry cleaned in Canada, and will instead have to settle for the sub-par standards here stateside. Read More
Archived Stories
‘Big’ Red Forced to Downsize to ‘Medium’
October 30th, 2009In wake of the all-encompassing budget cuts, the athletics department has considered the previously unconsiderable: changing Cornell’s mascot. Or more precisely, changing its size. Read More
Loch Beebe Monster Preys on Students
October 30th, 2009Note to reader: If’n you readers of this here newspaper want this article to have its full effect, it must be read in a Scottish accent, laddie. Ye Cornellians mightn’t have heard of the Loch Ness Monster who dwelleth off the moors of fair Scotland. But, more importantly, ye all must be wary of another creature, even the more fearsome, who resides in your midst. Read More