KUBINEC | The Low-Risk Love Life

Perfect Match is symbolic of how Cornellians pair off — in as low-risk a way as possible. We want the perks of a romantic relationship within the safe confines of our own plans. Perfect Match hand-delivers you five meet-cutes from the comfort of your bedroom while letting any potential disappointment fall to the math gods. The stakes literally couldn’t be lower.

And the sort of person who would be attracted by this highly efficient dating scheme is also the sort of person who goes to Cornell, isn’t it? We have been taught, often from young ages, to avoid risk — take the right classes, say the right things in interviews, don’t rock the boat too much, major in something sure to land a big salary. Our love lives play out atop the subconscious belief that the safest way is the best way.

SEX ON THURSDAY | Lamenting Romantic Labels

Over the summer I called into question this nonchalance toward cutting off all romantic partners that never earned the title of “MY partner” when it came time to actually tell them that I would not be seeing them any longer. Even though we had spent loads of time together out getting drinks, going for walks or in bed, I was incredibly tempted to dismiss it all and just use my lablelessness as a fog cover to fade away into obscurity. 

SEX ON THURSDAY | Bedside Manners

I was in CTB last week finishing up an essay when the song “Slow Motion” by Trey Songz came up. Normally, a throwback track like this wouldn’t incite so much nostalgia and excitement in me, but this song took me back to one of my favorite hook up memories. The summer before I began Cornell, I went from having my first kiss to showing up to my summer fling’s house wearing nothing but lingerie and high heels. Walking from his driveway to the front door, I remember that song bursting from inside of the house and my heart racing in anticipation of his surprise when he opened the door. He went absolutely crazy.

SEX ON THURSDAY | Call Me Beep Me If You Wanna Reach Me

It starts with a “hey.” Or maybe a “sup” or a “you out?” It rolls through around 12:45 a.m. as bars begin to shut down and angsty college students begin to take lap-after-rapid-lap around their final evening’s destination, searching for a mate. Or maybe at 11:45 p.m. as you plan for the impending moment at which you will run into one another as you snake through the tightly wound aisle of Loco. Maybe it’s a “you up?” coming across your phone’s screen at 2 a.m.

Your friends will write your response. Meaningful logic in crafting one’s own answer seems to only apply when the answer is not, in fact, your own. You would use far too many words — your friends push you to just say “hey.” You want to say where you are: “Hey!

PARK | A Tinder Cover Letter

To Whom It May Concern:

My name is Chad, 22, and I am a student at Cornell University only two miles away. I’ve had the pleasure of looking through your photos and deeming you worthy of the highest honor, my personal seal of attractiveness, a right swipe, and I am interested in pursuing the position of Your Romantic Suitor. My colorful personality, relevant experience, and chiseled physique make me an outstanding candidate to serve your needs. To help you get to know me better, I’ve provided you with a unique and varied canon of photos that display the many facets of my personality. First and foremost, I am an artist.

PIÑERO | Aziz Ansari and Hookup Culture

Cornell defines sexual assault as “sexual intercourse or sexual contact without affirmative consent.” It defines affirmative consent as “clear permission regarding willingness to engage in the sexual activity” from an individual who is neither incapacitated nor subjected to “coercion, intimidation, force or threat of harm.” However, it doesn’t protect against being pressured, implicitly, into consenting. This month, Babe.net published one woman’s account of a sexual experience with comedian Aziz Ansari in which she never said no, but she never said yes, either. During that encounter, an exchange occurred that epitomizes a sexual gray area I like to call “necessity consent.”

Necessity, as defined in criminal law, is a defense for a choice made in an emergency situation to prevent the greater of two evils. Necessity consent is compliance in the face of such a choice. The accuser voiced to Ansari her feelings about being forced, and he initially responded respectfully.

SEX ON THURSDAYS | What the Fuck is a Hookup?

It’s Sunday morning at 11 a.m. and I roll over, hand slapping my phone to turn off an alarm that is blasting through the room and ringing in my ear, like God himself has placed a marching band on my nightstand and they are determined to play until my brain gives out. I need coffee and to figure out how to get the 190 lb man spread-eagle across the bed next to me home so I can actually finish the problem set I said I’d do on Thursday. A text sits unread at the top of my lock screen as I finally figure out how to shut the alarm off. “Did you have a good night and did you hook up with him?”

I start to write out a text explaining that I didn’t hook up with him as we had only made out and talked until 2 a.m., and then passed out unceremoniously on top of the blankets of my bed. Then I realized maybe that was a hookup.

SEX ON THURSDAYS | All of the Benefits, None of the Risks

To many, millennial “hook-up culture” is a disease infecting college campuses across the county. If that’s true, then Cornell has a fatal case. Over the years, I’ve heard many people try to explain the particularly strong grip casual sex has on the average Cornellian’s relationships. “We’re just so focused on school we can’t possibly put in the time necessary for a healthy relationship.” “Everyone was a nerd in high school, so now that people actually want to sleep with them, they have to do it.” “Sex is the strongest nonprescription stress-reliever.” The root of the culture is likely a combination of the three, as Cornell students are some of the most driven, thirsty and stressed-out people in the U.S.

No matter the causes of this trend, what’s really important is how it affects the typical social resident on the hill. Do we benefit from this system of apathetic hook-ups?