Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Bedside Manners

I was in CTB last week finishing up an essay when the song “Slow Motion” by Trey Songz came up. Normally, a throwback track like this wouldn’t incite so much nostalgia and excitement in me, but this song took me back to one of my favorite hook up memories. The summer before I began Cornell, I went from having my first kiss to showing up to my summer fling’s house wearing nothing but lingerie and high heels. Walking from his driveway to the front door, I remember that song bursting from inside of the house and my heart racing in anticipation of his surprise when he opened the door. He went absolutely crazy.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | I’m Bad at This

“You write a sex column. Aren’t you supposed to be good at figuring this stuff out?”

It’s a question I’ve gotten a lot — mostly in my own head — but also from a few friends who know the real person behind the pseudonym Reykjadick. The truth is I am very, very bad at this. I also have some minor successes. In the interest of providing the valuable insight that not all Sun Sex on Thursday columnists spend their time having elaborate sexcapades so elaborate they would make the wildest porno you’ve ever seen — complete with Fabio on Horseback — here are some tales of, well, not that.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | One Night Stands Do and Don’ts

One night stands have become a major part of college hookup culture. I have definitely had my fair share of enjoyable and odd forays into this sexual genre. Over my years of having casual sex, I’ve learned a lot about what makes them fun (and safe) and what can really kill the mood.  

Do: Use protection. Sounds straightforward, but it can be easy to forget in the heat of the moment, especially when you might be used to a partner who always remembered for you.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Call Me Beep Me If You Wanna Reach Me

It starts with a “hey.” Or maybe a “sup” or a “you out?” It rolls through around 12:45 a.m. as bars begin to shut down and angsty college students begin to take lap-after-rapid-lap around their final evening’s destination, searching for a mate. Or maybe at 11:45 p.m. as you plan for the impending moment at which you will run into one another as you snake through the tightly wound aisle of Loco. Maybe it’s a “you up?” coming across your phone’s screen at 2 a.m.

Your friends will write your response. Meaningful logic in crafting one’s own answer seems to only apply when the answer is not, in fact, your own. You would use far too many words — your friends push you to just say “hey.” You want to say where you are: “Hey!

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Not Just a Legal Issue

People tell me I can’t complain about a hookup if I gave consent. They’ll tell you the same. And it’s so fucking stupid and wrong. In recent weeks, the question of whether or not sexual interactions fall under the definition of legal consent has become the center of our cultural zeitgeist. The realization that women and LGBTQ+ individuals have been forced to undergo a barrage of interactions that do not meet the definition of consent as we understand it has shocked our nation — especially because countless interactions have been in situations where power dynamics forced those individuals to be violated.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAYS | How to Eat Her Out

When I gave my first blowjob, I was really nervous. Sure, I had heard about it from my friends, who assured me there was no way I could fuck it up (unless I literally bit the guy’s dick off — ouch). I read countless Cosmo articles and “How-To” columns to make sure that I would deliver a top-notch, excellent blowjob. Bottom line, I was really prepared for the first time I gave head. Let’s be frank, it really isn’t rocket science, but nevertheless, I felt slight pressure to be great at it.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAYS | Losing My Virginity: A Memoir

From the painfully awkward day my parents and I had the “Sex Talk,” I knew exactly how I wanted to lose my virginity. It would be magnificent — a combination of all of the steamy sex scenes I had secretly watched on the 2 p.m. daytime soap operas. A warm, candle-lit room with a plush bed and silky white sheets, rose petals sprinkled around the room in a shape of a heart, and bubbly Dom Perignon awaiting my arrival. My future boyfriend would be gentle and making love would be beautiful. Growing up with these elaborate expectations and years of my parents reinforcing their conservative point of view on my virginity, it was no surprise that I was on the verge of graduating from college and had never had sex.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAYS | What the Fuck is a Hookup?

It’s Sunday morning at 11 a.m. and I roll over, hand slapping my phone to turn off an alarm that is blasting through the room and ringing in my ear, like God himself has placed a marching band on my nightstand and they are determined to play until my brain gives out. I need coffee and to figure out how to get the 190 lb man spread-eagle across the bed next to me home so I can actually finish the problem set I said I’d do on Thursday. A text sits unread at the top of my lock screen as I finally figure out how to shut the alarm off. “Did you have a good night and did you hook up with him?”

I start to write out a text explaining that I didn’t hook up with him as we had only made out and talked until 2 a.m., and then passed out unceremoniously on top of the blankets of my bed. Then I realized maybe that was a hookup.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAYS | All of the Benefits, None of the Risks

To many, millennial “hook-up culture” is a disease infecting college campuses across the county. If that’s true, then Cornell has a fatal case. Over the years, I’ve heard many people try to explain the particularly strong grip casual sex has on the average Cornellian’s relationships. “We’re just so focused on school we can’t possibly put in the time necessary for a healthy relationship.” “Everyone was a nerd in high school, so now that people actually want to sleep with them, they have to do it.” “Sex is the strongest nonprescription stress-reliever.” The root of the culture is likely a combination of the three, as Cornell students are some of the most driven, thirsty and stressed-out people in the U.S.

No matter the causes of this trend, what’s really important is how it affects the typical social resident on the hill. Do we benefit from this system of apathetic hook-ups?

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAYS | On the Naughty List

Let’s face it, while winter break is our light at the end of the tunnel, around the eighth day most of us are five pounds heavier and absolutely bored with our nondescript home lives. Sometime during that second week of blissful boredom, you open the little, red-flamed app that you had promised not to rejoin. A few swipes later, you’re sitting in your couch wearing warm flannel pajamas for the second day in a row, stuffing your face with holiday cookies, feeling that red-hot holiday jingle in your pants. And all of a sudden,  you realize the holidays are actually stressful. At Cornell, you have the luxury of your own mattress and no parental supervision, so you never really have to sneak around (unless you’re into that, in which case, hell yeah), but at home privacy is a rare luxury.