It is a stereotype of male arousal that it tends to go one way or the other. That is to say, you’re either turned on or you’re not. While such platitudes are mostly true, they do overlook the realm of partial tumescence, the delightful stage in-between full erection and full flaccidity.
Yesterday my friend bought a dirty magazine from a gas station in Cortland. Smut, as my grandparents would have called it. Later, while poring over it in a semicircle of four or five rapt gentlemen, I caught a wave of nostalgia for the bygone days of print pornography. The magazine itself was printed on paper, of all things. There were no play or pause buttons or volume sliders, either.
Sexual fantasies. When a girl mentions this term, I assume most people imagine some steamy, hot bondage sex scene with lots of rope, blindfolds, and other sexy kinks. But to me, the term “sexual fantasy” means something else. It refers to my private, creepy, does-this-reflect-a-hidden-part-of-my-character thoughts when I’m touching myself, or sometimes even just daydreaming in a coffee shop after seeing a hot guy. Yeah, neurotic.
There’s something oddly exciting about anonymity. Albeit it’s extraordinarily difficult to be completely anonymous, with IP addresses and all, the simple act of covering your face in the midst of a lewd act is enough to excite me all over. Yes, I’m talking about public, but not so public, masturbation. It all started quite early for me. My best friend Alyson and I were sexually adventurous and we would do anything for attention.
One of the problems everybody deals with at college is where to get their hair cut. If you have a long-standing relationship with your barber at home, you don’t need to describe the cut you want. Presumably, your home barber knows you well enough to know how you like it. But even if you go to a new barber, there’s a standard “hair lexicon” you can use to succinctly and precisely describe the coif you’re into. “Six on top, four on the sides, tapered in the back and sideburns mid-ear,” for example.
It’s a long night in Collegetown, I’m batting my eyes, flirting with a few guys. I just got a number, and this one particular guy eyeing me at this bar has this dark mysterious aura surrounding him (maybe it’s just the fact that he’s wearing all black and alone). I go up to him, speak in a low, sultry voice, and after a few minutes ask him to come back to my place. Of course, he’s surprised, this is typically the guy’s part, why would I skip the flirting that most girls require? Why am I so hungry to have him over?
Is it my sultry stares? My pushed-up-too-much breasts? But isn’t that typical of most flirtation methods nowadays? I really am unsure about why people (in this case, guys) are so willing to cheat on their girlfriends. More specifically, why has it happened so many times with me?
A group of 15 American girls wandering the streets of Amsterdam’s Red Light District, stumbling into a “coffee shop” only to have our nostrils fill with the stench of weed smoke and eyes darting to all the Amsterdammer’s rolling flawless joints. We’re giddy and laughing, while all still questioning what we are doing here and how our night led to what was about to go down. Let me back up. I studied abroad last semester in Europe. While I had all the similar trips as most of my peers did, my semester was a little bit different than most.
If you walk west down the Ithaca Commons late on a Saturday night, past Moonies and the State Theatre, the vibe starts getting weird. You see fewer and fewer people, and the people you do see don’t look like students going out to party. The thumping music coming from the bars gives way to a strange quiet. Head down to Geneva and State and you’ll find a “community labyrinth” behind the office of The Sun. This labyrinth, a set of jagged rocks arranged in spirals, is next to a stairway that leads down to a door.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a horny appetite, must be in want of a sexual partner. So, when you have the two horny parties present, what is left to be construed is the nature of this interaction, and along with this, the very important concept of power. Let me just clarify before I begin to explore this issue further that I am always talking about consensual interactions where power-play is a form of enjoyment for both parties present. Power can very easily be broken down to “This makes me feel good. I want this,” and that is where control comes in.