As everyone is surely aware, the Cornell community will be celebrating Slope Day this Friday. The Slope Day Programming Board would like to wish all of you a fun and safe Slope Day and leave you with some advice:
When we come to Cornell we hear a great deal of lore,
Of courses, of parties and oh so much more.
Among all of these stories, one stands alone,
That one is Slope Day, king on a throne.
As all of our classes come to close,
Our collective love for this school most surely grows.
It’s all about hanging out with your pals,
All of the coolest Cornell guys and gals.
There’s no other day where we all get together,
Frolicking happily like birds of a feather.
So get to the Slope where fun will be had,
Really, we’re telling you, it’s totally rad.
There will be two kinds of crazy on display at Slope Day. The headlining act, absurd though it may be, follows a much-trammeled (and much-bemoaned) storyline: Girl is Hot, Girl Gets More Girls, Girls Gets Record Deal. And then there’s Asher Roth.
It’s become pretty in vogue these days to rant about the cornucopia of failures and shortcomings of the American capitalist system of the late ’90s that has led us to the circumstances in which we now find ourselves. Rejoice though, right-wingers and twelve year-old girls, because in this time of economic disparity, our peers on the Slope Day Programming Board have decided to illuminate, in all its scantily clad glory, the wonders of capitalism: the Pussycat Dolls are coming to Cornell.
The Apples in Stereo — an indie-rock band associated with other bands that also emerged in the early ’90s, like the Neutral Milk Hotel and others in the Elephant 6 collective — will be the first to open the show at this year’s Slope Day, according to Mandy Hjellming ’09, chair of the Slope Day Planning Board. The Apples in Stereo will be accompanying Asher Roth and the Pussycat Dolls on the Slope on Friday, May 1.
Hailing from Denver, Colorado, Apples in Stereo plays melodic low-fi pop-rock music with psychedelic undertones, often garnering comparisons to the sounds of the 1960s. Singer and songwriter Robert Schneider remains the only original member in the group, one that has spanned many sounds and genres throughout its decade-long career.
“I Hate this Part”
I’ve heard a lot of hootin’ and hollerin’ about students’ displeasure with the choice to have The Pussycat Dolls as our main act for Slope Day. To all you haters, I say: shut it. If there were a mandatory course for complaining and griping at Cornell, I am quite sure it would have a higher mean grade than any COMM course (that’s saying a lot). Slope Day acts cannot please everyone, which only gives the upset more incentive to get blackout drunk, have the time of their lives and then not remember it the next day — just like everyone else. Win–win.
In order to increase funding for Slope Day, the Cornell Concert Commission (CCC) gave $30,000 of its own funds to the Slope Day Programming Board on Thursday.
“We’re very appreciative of everything the Concert Commission has done for us and thankful of their generosity,” said Mandy Hjellming ’09, chair of the Slope Day Programming Board. “It will definitely be significant to the success of Slope Day and the artists that we bring.”
One of Cornell’s most visible student events appears to have fallen victim to the University-wide budget cuts that were announced earlier this week.
Slope Day, the annual concert held on Libe Slope on the last day of spring semester classes, will receive significantly less funding from the University, which has historically offered financial support for the event, according to Mandy Hjellming ‘09, chair of the Slope Day Programming Board.
Hjellming said that this the SDPB will be forced to cover an estimated $70,000 that the University had provided in the past for logistical and infrastructural expenses. That figure is a low estimate and the actual deficit could actually be higher, she said.
I fear the lyrics to Hot Hot Heat’s 2002 hit single will morph into reality following the drunken debauchery that will surely ensue on tomorrow on Slope Day. People will be singing, “Bandages, bandages, bandages / Up and down on my legs my arms from you!” But whether or not these words will simply be the result of a catchy, stick-in-your-head chorus or of a horrible drunken accident … I guess time will only tell.
Perhaps best known for “Bandages,” Hot Hot Heat has authored four best selling albums, which together include four top 50 hits. The band’s most recent album, Happiness Ltd., was released last year. Hot Hot Heat will perform second and directly before Gym Class Heroes tomorrow afternoon.