“I Hate this Part”

I’ve heard a lot of hootin’ and hollerin’ about students’ displeasure with the choice to have The Pussycat Dolls as our main act for Slope Day. To all you haters, I say: shut it. If there were a mandatory course for complaining and griping at Cornell, I am quite sure it would have a higher mean grade than any COMM course (that’s saying a lot). Slope Day acts cannot please everyone, which only gives the upset more incentive to get blackout drunk, have the time of their lives and then not remember it the next day — just like everyone else. Win–win.

“Loosen Up my Buttons”

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On Thursday, the Cornell Concert Commission announced that it would graciously donate $30,000 to the Slope Day Programming Board to help compensate for an estimated $70,000 loss in funding from the University. But showering funds into the Slope Day budget paints a gilded image of the increasingly bleak financial outlook that Cornell faces.

The contribution will be used to help foot the sumptuous bill for the day’s musical lineup. However, as budgets across campus continue to be slashed, why is it necessary to still pump close to a quarter of a million dollars into the annual spring festival?

In order to increase funding for Slope Day, the Cornell Concert Commission (CCC) gave $30,000 of its own funds to the Slope Day Programming Board on Thursday.

“We’re very appreciative of everything the Concert Commission has done for us and thankful of their generosity,” said Mandy Hjellming ’09, chair of the Slope Day Programming Board. “It will definitely be significant to the success of Slope Day and the artists that we bring.”

The best day of the year for any Cornellian arguably falls on the last day of classes each spring semester — Slope Day. This year, however, the Slope Day Programming Board has been hit by a lack of funding from the University due to the current economic downturn. For some Cornellians, this is the first tangible effect of the economic issues plaguing the University. While Cornell steps away from Slope Day in favor of holding onto its staff, it is the students who must step in to protect the tradition.

Cornell’s endowment is down 27 percent and the campus must make a five-percent cut to its operating budget. In these trying times, the University faces some tough decisions.

One of Cornell’s most visible student events appears to have fallen victim to the University-wide budget cuts that were announced earlier this week.

Slope Day, the annual concert held on Libe Slope on the last day of spring semester classes, will receive significantly less funding from the University, which has historically offered financial support for the event, according to Mandy Hjellming ‘09, chair of the Slope Day Programming Board.

Hjellming said that this the SDPB will be forced to cover an estimated $70,000 that the University had provided in the past for logistical and infrastructural expenses. That figure is a low estimate and the actual deficit could actually be higher, she said.

I fear the lyrics to Hot Hot Heat’s 2002 hit single will morph into reality following the drunken debauchery that will surely ensue on tomorrow on Slope Day. People will be singing, “Bandages, bandages, bandages / Up and down on my legs my arms from you!” But whether or not these words will simply be the result of a catchy, stick-in-your-head chorus or of a horrible drunken accident … I guess time will only tell.

Perhaps best known for “Bandages,” Hot Hot Heat has authored four best selling albums, which together include four top 50 hits. The band’s most recent album, Happiness Ltd., was released last year. Hot Hot Heat will perform second and directly before Gym Class Heroes tomorrow afternoon.

The Slope Day Programming Board announced yesterday that Gym Class Heroes — whose guitarist is Disashi Lumumba-Kasongo ’04 — will headline Slope Day 2008 on Friday, May 2. Hot Hot Heat will open for Gym Class Heroes. Gym Class Heroes’ hits have combined hip hop, rock, rap, R&B, emo and funk to create a wildly successful pop formula. Lead singer of Fall Out Boy Patrick Stump guest starred vocally for one of their biggest hits, “Clothes Off!!” In 2007, the band won the Best New Artist award at the MTV Video Music Awards where it was also nominated for Best Group.

The end of the school year is finally here and it’s time for your Sun final exam! Match each question to its correct answer. One quarter of a point will be deducted for wrong guesses. If the total number of correct answers falls on a prime number, 100 extra points will be awarded, unless that prime number is greater than 12. If you’ve laughed at one of my lame jokes in the past month, 5 pts will be deducted for shameless brown-nosing. Please DO NOT move on to the essay question until all your peers have finished this section, otherwise the smart kids practically obliterate the legacies on the essay section. Please use a No. 2 pencil; absolutely no answers written with ink or number 1 or 3 pencils we be graded. But other even numbered pencils will receive partial credit.