September 28, 2000

Christmas Comes Early!

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Bedazzled

Elizabeth Hurley is the Devil.

Not only that, but she plays the Prince(ss) of Darkness in Bedazzled, a comedy about nerdy love and wishful thinking. Brendan Fraser stars as Elliot, a lovable geek who works as a technical-support advisor. Elliot’s desperately in love with Alison (Frances O’Conner), and looks to the Dark Side for help in nailing her affections.

Enter the gorgeous Hurley, who grants Elliot seven wishes in exchange for his soul. Naturally, he wishes for Alison and ends up, well, a Columbian drug lord. Other misappropriated wishes land Elliot as a rock and roll superstar and a basketball idol, all with disastrous consequences cooked up by the seductive Satan.

Director Harold Ramis, a modern guru of light-hearted comedies, teams up with writer Peter Tolan and executive producer Suzanne Herrington, the same group responsible for the 1998 hit Analyze This. The film is a remake of a 1968 Dudley Moore comedy, updating the story for the digital age. I wish … I wish … I wish that Elizabeth Hurley would appear in a movie with a rating higher than PG-13.

–Zach Vanderkooy

The Legend of Bagger Vance

Ahh…. a golf movie. For those of you thinking about Tin Cup, it only gets better: A golf movie about a magical caddy who makes a struggling golfer good again. This is the plot line for Dreamworks’ large scale November 3 release, The Legend of Bagger Vance. Apparently director Robert Redford loves a hard sell, even after The Horse Whisperer. Not only is this a movie about the sport that gave us “the golf clap,” but it’s also a period piece set during World War II.

But when Roy Hobbs makes a sports movie, big stars come a-runnin’. The movie’s best chance at success is a star-studded cast which includes Charlize Theron, Matt Damon, and Will Smith.

Apparently, the movie was originally planned to be a Robert Redford/Morgan Freeman vehicle. But it’s quite possible that Dreamworks decided that remaking The Bridges of Madison County for the aging homo-erotic set wasn’t a great marketing scheme. So enter Damon and Smith, any film company’s wet dream. Maybe this movie is going to capitalize on the global phenomenon that is Tiger Woods. Or maybe it’s meant to be a high-budget prestige piece. I guess only time will tell what becomes of Bagger Vance.

— Mike Giusto

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

I’ll be the first to admit that when I was a little kid, I was absolutely petrified of The Grinch. I mean, he stole Christmas. Do you have any idea how big a deal that is? And all that change of heart stuff at the end? I’m not buying it. That damn little dog was probably eating up all the fruitcake in Whoville while they did that whole song and dance. But anyway, I digress. After many years of laboring over scripts and casting, this November, How the Grinch Stole Christmas is finally making it to theaters.

In an act of casting genius, our generation’s most gifted physical comedian, Jim Carrey, is the movie’s star. Thanks to countless hours of makeup, Carrey manages to bring the sadistic Grinch to life. The movie also features the narration of Sir Anthony Hopkins and an appearance by Verne Troyer, who is once again typecast as “The Midget.” God, talk about a one-trick horse. (I sincerely apologize to any midgets, dwarves, and the like that I may have just offended. I mean really, what good is free speech if you don’t use it to offend little people every now and then.)

— Mike Giusto

Little Nicky

For all of those people who swore Adam Sandler was taking a step towards maturity in his last two movies, Big Daddy and The Wedding Singer, you’re going to hell. Or at least he will be.

In Little Nicky, Sandler stars as Little Nicky, son of the Devil (Harvey Keitel). When daddy dearest, Satan, for short, decides that he wants to give Nicky the family business, he gives him his first task, which is to go to earth to retrieve his two brothers. Apparently these sibs were not quite bad enough. They were quasi-evil, the margarine of evil.

Along the way, in typical Sandler-style, he falls in love with an earthing and has many amusing adventures. The film also boasts an all-star line-up, including Ozzy Osbourne, Quentin Tarantino, Rodney Dangerfield, Dana Carvey, and Regis Philbin.

Hopefully in this movie Sandler will delve into deep issues like religion and moral values, and abandon the immature, crude antics that reigned in his earlier films. Not to mention the one-dimensional, undeveloped characters that he played on Saturday Night Live. Yeah, right.

Little Nicky shows a lot of promise. After all, has Sandler ever really disappointed?

And for the record, conditioner is better.

— Sara Katz

Charlie’s Angels

There could be a lot wrong with a movie which focuses on Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, and Lucy Liu in teeny weeny articles of clothing, but who cares, right?

Based on the popular 70’s series of the same name, Charlie’s Angels, which will arrive in theatres in November, follows three foxy private investigators whose boss, Charlie, is a mysterious voice that comes from a box in their office. This extended episode of Angels will involve the girls in a search for a kidnapped billionaire. They will use combat, high-tech weaponry and, of course, flirtation to get their man.

Listed as a cross between action and comedy, this movie is sure to at least attempt the latter, with a cast that includes Tom Green, Bill Murray, and Matt LeBlanc, who plays — surprise surprise! — a character defined by his oblivious nature.

I guarantee this movie will be far from a classic, but it will be a healthy dose of grrrl power, stupid humor, and skin.

— Danielle Stein

Cast Away

For this film, Tom Hanks appeared in public with that absolutely awful beard. He truly looked bad in front of the Academy and a sacrifice of those proportions must not go for naught.

So, by that logic, Cast Away must be a good movie. However, that logic seems a bit faulty. The publicity shots are eerily reminiscent of Rudy from Survivor and the plot doesn’t sound a whole lot different.

Tom Hanks plays a Fed Ex executive who somehow gets stuck on a deserted island. He must learn to survive. He’s on his own for food, water, shelter and cable modem access. Luckily, he rigs up his own router by using his beard hairs as cable and steals high-speed access from aboriginal island inhabitant internet surfers.

He also marks the passing time on a coconut.

Hanks also falls in love with Helen Hunt and has grunting conversations with Chris Noth (American Pie).

This film should be the sleeper hit of the fall, since it probably won’t get much publicity despite its high quality.

Seriously though, this movie will likely suck.

— Jason Weinstein


Archived article by Sun Staff