February 16, 2001

An Elephant Never Forgets

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Dear Lynah Faithful:

This space is now an ad to remind you to please show up on time and to be loud this weekend.

I wouldn’t want to be accused of telling you how to act or what to do, but I would just like to remind you of a few things that should make this the perfect weekend to go crazy.

For starters the Red is in second place in the league, with four of its final six games at home. The squad is by-and-large getting healthier, and seems on the verge of making a great run. Sure Doug Murray is hurt and the team hasn’t scored much recently, but Murray was almost not going to play anyways due to previous injuries and it’s not like this team lacks offensive opportunities. This is a squad with a chance to make a run for the ECAC regular-season and tournament championships.

The more noise you make to support your alma mater, the better those odds get.

The next point is that the Red is 5-4 at home this year. Last year the team lost three games at home all year. Clearly, the Faithful doesn’t play the game and can’t take the credit or blame for a home record, but the Faithful can make Lynah the most intimidating rink to play in the nation. It doesn’t decide games, but it doesn’t hurt your beloved squad either.

But now for the extra benefits of going to the games this weekend. In addition to what it may do for the squad, you all should have a good time this weekend. Each of these teams did something REALLY stupid last year.

Starting with Dartmouth (since the Green will be here tonight): Do you remember the Dartmouth game here last year? Yes, Cornell did lose 3-2, but the second goal was one of the most memorable in recent memory. Dartmouth goalie Nick Boucher celebrated what he thought was the Green’s fourth goal of the game with just 2:40 left in the contest. So the genius wanders over to section A to taunt the Faithful about his upcoming victory. Only problem for Boucher was that it wasn’t a goal, and David Adler ’00 picked up the puck and shot it into the empty net. The goal got the Red within one, but the team was unable to convert again and force overtime.

Moral to the story? Boucher has proved that he is a solid goalie when he is in net, but pretty easy to score on while he celebrates non-goals. If I were to sit in the stands this weekend, I think I would try to remind him that he is part of perhaps the most boneheaded play in Lynah in years.

And just when you belived there could be no better ammunition than what you have on Boucher, in walks Vermont tomorrow night. In case you have forgotten, Vermont’s hockey team was unable to compete for most of last season due to hazing violations, which it then proceeded to idiotically lie about.

Indeed, because I’m jealous that I can’t cheer, I have taken the liberty to dig up the story. According to the AP, the University of Vermont “acknowledged that recruits to the school’s ECAC Division I hockey team had been coerced into drinking large amounts of alcohol, parading naked while holding one another’s genitals and engaging in other degrading activities.”

Now, ignoring what other degrading activities could have taken place — given that they were already walking around naked with a bunch of other guys and getting to “know” one another in what is commonly refered to as the “elephant walk” — it seems that even someone who hasn’t been out of the stacks of Olin in two weeks could find something funny to say about this group of CataMOUNTS.

Obviously, this is a dream weekend from a heckler’s point of view. I can’t wait to hear what you all come up with. You all have a reputation for being the one of the most creative crowds in the nation — prove it. It doesn’t get much better than that.

That goes back to my opening, that you should want to be there on time and want to be loud. Not only can you help the men’s hockey team, but you might miss something really amusing.

Besides, for all of you rushing, if you come to the games it’ll help you delay drinking for a couple of hours — after all, you never know what others might make you do when you consume large amounts of alcohol.


Archived article by J.V. Anderton