By ryan April 12, 2001
Along Came a Spider is sold as a cerebral thriller, with an intricate plot as elegant and complicated as a spider’s web. The thing about spider webs, however, is that while they can be elegant and beautiful, they also usually accumulate in dusty old corners or on unused knick-knacks and junk. They just sit there in dark, musty corners of your home. And in the end, that’s the feeling you get when you walk out of Spider; it’s not particularly good or bad. It’s just there. Along Came a Spider is based on James Patterson’s first Alex Cross novel and is the second to make it to the big screen — the second novel in the series was the basis for 1997’s critically acclaimed Kiss the Girls. Morgan Freeman reprises his role as famed detective and criminal profiler Dr. Alex Cross. Madman Gary Soneji (Michael Wincott) passes himself off as a computer teacher at one of Washington’s most exclusive private schools to kidnap a senator’s daughter, Megan Rose (Mika Boorem). Soneji lures Cross into his web in order to secure a place in criminal history as the topic of one of Cross’ books. At Cross’ side is Secret Service agent Jezzie Flannigan (Monica Potter), who was on duty when the kidnapping took place and seeks redemption by catching Soneji. The web that director Lee Tamahori tries to weave is unfortunately one full of gaping tears and holes. A D.C. city cop takes over an FBI investigation while teaming up with a Secret Service agent? Even if your only knowledge of procedure comes from T.V. crime dramas, you’d know that in real life the only web in this situation would be the massive, impenetrable tangle of bureaucratic red-tape. But, Cross seemingly handles the investigation all alone while every available Federal agent stands around awestruck, right up to the climax of the film, where he stalks the kidnapper single-handedly without back-up. Soneji’s motives for involving Cross are never sufficiently explained, either. Tamahori seems to expect the audience to know how famous and competent Cross is from the get-go, which is a major problem if you’ve never read the novels or seen Kiss the Girls. The film’s biggest flaw, however, is that from the start, there’s a palpable lack of intensity to what’s being played as a suspenseful thriller. There’s no real sense of danger conveyed by the situation or by Soneji. This might be due to the earliness of the killer’s introduction; his face and the majority of his motives are revealed to the audience far too quickly, removing the dramatic build-up and mystery that is usually found in movies of this genre. Most of the problem is caused by the general apathy displayed by the cast members of Spider, who for the most part look like they’re proud graduates of the George W. Bush School of Public Speaking. If you’re bored during the movie, cover your ears and imagine everybody making a “duuuuuuuhh” noise instead of speaking — you’ll be surprised how perfectly it fits. The worst examples of this dazed lack of emotion are Megan Rose’s parents, played by Penelope Ann Miller and Michael Moriarty. They give a true tour de force performance here, presenting a broad range of facial expressions ranging from confused to slightly more confused. Potter isn’t quite as cardboard in her performance, but unfortunately fares far worse since her Flannigan character is onscreen for a significantly longer amount of time. This thespian malaise occasionally strikes even veteran actors like Freeman. While he brings his usual stately, knowing presence to the screen, there’s no real question that he’s simply coasting through his performance here. Even with minimal effort, however, Freeman delivers an enjoyable, if not stellar, performance. Freeman’s done the wise old mentor/hero countless times before, but he does it so well and with such ease that it’s forgivable when he’s typecast in this way. If the viewer can stay interested until the last half hour of the movie, things start to pick up with a fairly surprising pair of plot twists. Tamahori tries to blow the audience away with these character swerves, but unfortunately the caliber of ammunition he uses isn’t quite large enough to penetrate. It’s loud and shocking, but not enough to really make up for the rest of what is in the end a fairly lackluster movie.Archived article by Matt Chock
By ryan April 12, 2001
Trends are a necessary evil of pop culture. The last decade of the 20th century was a hodge-podge of old-trends from the early 90s return of the 1950’s sideburns (think 90210 meets The Wonder Years), to the mid-90’s revision of bell-bottom jeans and Hush-Puppies, to the late 90s revival of pop music (think The Beatles’ meet The Backstreet Boys’). Through it all, I have been patiently waiting for my personal “wonder years” revival — the 80s. As a child born in the last days of the 1970s (December 21, 1979), I have never really felt a connection to the decade of peace and love. Instead, I have always had an affinity towards the decade of decadence — the 1980s. To finish off this school year will be the first of a two-part series investigating the revival of the 1980s in 2001. This marks the first time our generation can reach into our attics and pull out clothing (albeit a few sizes too small) that can be seen as trendy. Tune In or Tune Out Before we can venture further into the current 80’s revival, we are going to need a little refresher course on what exactly this decade was about. As any good college student knows, your research should begin with the television. Luckily for us, beginning last month, Nick-at-Nite (weekdays starting at 8 p.m. on channel 25) has started to air popular 1980’s shows such as D’fferent Strokes, Silver Spoons, The Facts of Life, and Alf. These shows should ignite a warm tingle in your nostalgic area (just below the heart and above the stomach) or at least remind you how cool it is to have a toy-train run through your living room. If you are more interested in reading you may want to check out King of Rock: Respect, Responsibility, and My Life with Run-DMC ($22.95) written by Darryl McDaniels (the DMC from Run-DMC). This is an autobiography that clearly illustrates the early rap scene of the 1980s, and most importantly it chronicles the rise of Run-DMC as one of the most influential rap bands to come out of the 1980’s. The book has received some serious critical nods and is worth checking out as a piece of 80’s memorabilia. As for the video store, you may want to check out Judgement, a new straight-to-video release that features the man himself, Mr. T., who looks bigger and badder than ever in the 21st century. In addition, for the DVD collectors out there, you may want to pick up Fast Times At Ridgemont High and The Wedding Singer (ret. $19.95). Both movies are good references for those of us who have forgotten the appeal of skinny ties with charcoal sports-coats. For the music lovers, there are two must-have CD collections: Monsters of Rock (ret. $19.95), which has classics from Whitesnake to Twisted Sister, and VH1’s Big 80’s, which compiles the Bangles and A-Ha. Starting from the top Okay, so the first sign of any trend usually is seen in sunglasses. So is it any surprise to you that large-framed, color-lensed sunglasses are the hottest things to hit the stores? For the ladies out there, you should try to find a pair of glasses that not only cover your eyes, but also extends a little lower and wider with tinted lenses (if you want to go to Hollywood try for dark red tints). For the guys we should be looking for pilot lessons with the new group of Aviator glasses that virtually every manufacturer from Ray-Ban to Gucci is coming out with this summer. Now, we can all look like Burt Reynolds and Loni Anderson. Or Starting From the Bottom Before you go out and get the latest “Presto” Nike shoe (the ones with no laces) you should check out some of the old-school fare that will definitely get you attention as you walk down the street. Puma and Adidas are the two manufacturers who in my mind bring back the razzle and dazzle of the 80s. The “Platinum” collection from Puma sports a little less sport and a little more club. However, they still manufacture classic sneakers, of which my favorite is the “Classic Suede.” If you want a little more kitsch in your sneaker then you will gladly welcome back a late 80s classic — the Reebok Pump. The sneaker, much like its 80s counterpart, has a pump in the tongue of the shoe that helps stabilize the ankle.Archived article by