September 27, 2001

Entertainment News

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Big Brother is Watching

For those who don’t check their email on a daily basis, an email was sent out from the Policy Advisor for Informational Technologies concerning file-sharing programs. Apparently a Cornell student was caught in a sweep by the Sony Corporation and is being taken to court for illegal possession of copyrighted material. In short, the moral of the story is that Big Brother is out there and he WILL catch your illegal file-swapping copyright-violating ass.

But, without file sharing programs like Kazaa or Audiogalaxy, a lot of us wouldn’t be exposed to new media. Very soon, we may be forced to go back to reading books and conversing with each other for entertainment. Be afraid, children, be very afraid.

The Empire Strikes Back

Virtually comatose since it suspended file-sharing capabilities in July, Napster announced Monday that it had reached a preliminary agreement with songwriters and music publishers that would allow the company to provide a subscription-based file-sharing service.

Under the terms of the agreement Napster will pay $26 million in damages to publishers and songwriters. The company will also pay $10 million in advance for future royalties.

Of course, you now have to PAY to download a song, then go through the trouble of burning a CD. Anybody who thinks this new Napster is going to last longer than an hour, please raise your hand. I’ll be by shortly to recruit you into my moneymaking pyramid scheme.

All Your CDs Are Belong to Us

Universal Music Group announced Tuesday that they plan to implement copy-protection technology into their CDs. Universal is the world’s largest record company, and has a sizable stable of artists in all genres, including Eminem, U2, Garbage, and Sheryl Crow. By the end of the year, all Universal CDs will use technology that will prevent users from copying music onto their computer hard drives, Vivendi Universal vice chairman Edgar Bronfman said Tuesday, according to Reuters. The company will begin using the technology on some releases as early as October.

Preliminary reports indicate that in the event of a copy attempt, the CD will spew poison knockout gas at the user, then self-destruct, rendering the computer a useless heap of molten plastic. Anyone caught humming songs by Universal Music Group artists in public will be subject to horrible Stormtrooper beatings.

Bad Boy

Sean “P. Diddy” Combs is under fire for a line in his most recent single, “Diddy.” The line in question featured a reference to Asian women that many found derogatory: “Got Asian women/ That’ll change my linen/ After I done blazed and hit em.” A release from Combs on his website states “P. Diddy nor his co-writers of the song had any intention of offending any ethnicity particularly Asian women.” I’d ask what the hell Combs thought people’s reaction to these lyrics would be, but then again this is the man who changed his handle to “P. Diddy” in order to increase his credibility. I’m guessing logic isn’t his strong point. Besides, I don’t know about you, but my Asian woman makes ME change the linen.

Give Peace A Chance

Yoko Ono confirmed Tuesday that she placed the ad in the Sunday edition of the New York Times containing only the simple message, “Imagine all the people living life in peace.” All she is saying is give peace a chance.

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