The Daze Rant

By wpengine | November 29, 2001

I don’t think I can explain to you all exactly how angry I am right now. ABC, the Mickey Mouse network, has decided that classic sports film Brian’s Song needed to be redone, and is creating an updated version for December 2nd. Let’s get something straight, this movie does not need to be redone. This is not The Greg Louganis Story, starring Saved by the Bell’s A.C. Slater or Caddyshack II starring the unforgettable Jonathan Silverman as the prick. This is a timeless movie that is truly good. Leave well enough alone, Michael Eisner.

Speaking of things that should be left alone, Steven Speilberg is re-releasing E.T. with certain changes that make it more politically correct, or some garbage like that. One such change includes equipping the shotgun-toting guys chasing the E.T. with flashlights instead of weapons of death. Let me tell you something, I don’t care how “cute” an extraterrestrial might look, if I’m working for the Feds, I better damn well get a shotgun or photon phaser or something if I’ve gotta chase down one of these things. What am I going to do with a flashlight, blind the thing? I’ve seen Independence Day. I’m not gonna let any of those little bastards kill me. Let’s see ya phone home without a head you little chimp.

A quick mid-column break here for a non-artsy rant. I got one of those anonymous drug and alcohol surveys a few weeks back and actually filled the thing out, but never got around to sending it back in. This week, I got an e-mail from the people at Gannett, who wanted to know why I hadn’t sent my “anonymous” survey in. Think about that for a second. How did they know I hadn’t sent in the survey? Perplexing.

Ok, back to the rant.

The 28th annual People’s Choice Awards are coming up soon, and nominated for the award for Best Actor again this year are Mel Gibson and Tom Hanks. Neither was in a movie this year. Hell, the last movie I can remember Hanks in was You’ve got Mail, and if that deserves an award, I’m officially nominating The Eisley Brothers for Entertainers of the Year. Take that, establishment.

Also nominated is Scott Bakula for Male Performer in a New Television Series. Yes, the same Scott Bakula whose only previous claim to fame was starring in Major League III: Back to the Minors. Forgive us, oh Lord, for we have sinned.

(God replies: “I will strike down the first Bakula in every family until I am pleased.”

“Good idea, oh Lord.”

“Of course it’s a good idea!”)

Final bit … questions of the week:

Why did Courtney Cox marry David Arquette? This man has two claims to fame, sucking and being not funny.

Why is the next Star Wars movie named Attack of the Clones? Was No Talent Ass Clones taken?

Why can’t people see the beauty behind a dwarf-tossing event? Dave Flood, a dwarf from Florida, is suing to bring back the lost art to his home state. God bless you Dave, and may you always land on your feet.

Is there a greater punchline in history than “Bea Arthur?” Seriously folks, think of any joke. Make the answer “Bea Arthur.” Here’s an example:

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?”

“Bea Arthur.”

Wow, that’s good stuff.

Ok, I’m out. Keep on smiling and remember, “Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!”

Archived article by Charles Persons

Diagnostic Lab Joins In Bioterrorism Fight

By wpengine November 30, 2001

The Cornell Veterinary College Diagnostic Laboratory is joining in the fight against bioterrorism, particularly against susceptible animals. In her visit to campus last week, Sen. Hillary Clinton (D.-N.Y.) described the College of Veterinary Medicine Diagnostic Laboratory as a component of Cornell that makes it a leader in “food production and science research.” The Diagnostic Laboratory, which focuses on improving the health of food, companion, zoo and other animals, “also seeks to prevent communicable diseases or conditions that have an impact on human health,” according to the website. It handles 700,000 laboratory procedures and consultations annually. The lab’s two main functions are surveillance of animal populations and detection of “spontaneous,” naturally occurring disease in animals, said Prof. Pat McDonough, acting director of bacteriology at the lab. McDonough, along with Prof. Martin Wiedmann, food science, have “been asked to act as resources” to Clinton’s staff, McDonough said. They recently provided background information for a bill the senator composed. The laboratory, which has been testing for anthrax in animal populations for years, has increased its surveillance activities in the past couple of months. “We are in the position of ‘using’ the animal populations as a surveillance tool for the entry of infectious agents we don’t normally encounter,” said Prof. Edward Dubovi, associate director for laboratory operations at the Diagnostic Laboratory. Dubovi noted how a couple of years ago birds and crows were mysteriously dying, which signaled a potential risk to human health. West Nile virus was determined to be the cause of the birds’ deaths, and in the past two years, the Diagnostic Laboratory has increased its capabilities for dealing with the virus. In recent months, the lab has received a multitude of phone calls from animal owners inquiring about their pets’ risk of developing anthrax. Dubovi explained that anthrax occurs naturally in some animal populations, such as cattle and other ruminants, who have a low threshold for the disease. “[Anthrax is] a bacterium that exists in soil,” Dubovi said, noting that risk of exposure to cattle and deer increases when the soil becomes dry and wind picks up the anthrax spores. Some areas of the United States, such as the midwest, are “endemic” areas where anthrax typically occurs in deer or cattle populations. Texas, for example, has lost many animals to anthrax. McDonough said that California also has some endemic areas. If an anthrax case appears in the animal population in an endemic areas, it is most likely not due to bioterrorism, McDonough said. He noted, though, that central New York is not an endemic area. “The last known case that we know about in terms of anthrax in cattle [in New York State] was in 1984,” Dubovi added. Carnivores, such as humans, dogs and cats, are not at a great risk for contracting the disease. However, after CNN news reported that cats are susceptible to anthrax, numerous cat owners called the lab with concerns that their pets were at higher risk for developing anthrax. In response, McDonough and other researchers published a fact sheet on dogs’ and cats’ disease risks. The Diagnostic Laboratory tested cultures from several search-and-rescue and bomb-sniffing dogs from New York City, as well as a few politicians’ dogs from Washington, D.C., McDonough said. All the results came back negative for anthrax. It’s a “very unlikely event” that a dog would develop anthrax, Dubovi said. Due to enhanced surveillance systems since the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s main diagnostic lab in Ames, Iowa, has asked Cornell’s Diagnostic Laboratory to test animal samples in the northeast region. “So we became an unofficial part of the federal system,” Dubovi said. “In terms of the Northeast, we’re the most comprehensive type of diagnostic lab.” Veterinarians in the field who see suspicious cases or want to confirm their diagnoses can send cultures to the Cornell lab, which will then evaluate the samples and identify the disease. The Diagnostic Laboratory has denied numerous requests to do environmental tests. In the last few months, however, administrators at the Cornell Diagnostic Laboratory have worked with Cornell Environmental Health and Safety to creating protocols for testing samples of anthrax. “The diagnostic lab is represented in the University’s Emergency Operations Center,” Garcia-Rivera said. “We have been working together with the Diagnostic Laboratory as well as [the Cornell] police in developing new procedures and protocols, so the Diagnostic Laboratory can be of assistance in handling environmental samples that do not meet [investigative] criteria,” Garcia-Rivera said. The Federal Bureau of Investigation’s definition of a “crime scene” includes human exposure to a powder, accompanied by a threatening letter or phone call. If suspicious materials meet those criteria, they are sent to the State Department of Health lab in Albany, which is certified to handle such cases. The anthrax scares at Warren Hall and Uris Library this fall did meet the “investigative criteria that warranted submission of such samples to the Department of Health lab in Albany,” said Andy Garcia-Rivera, director of Cornell Environmental Health and Safety. Just last week, the Diagnostic Laboratory received authorization to test non-crime scene materials, should they be discovered on the Cornell campus. The protocol outlines procedures for containment. In the event of a widespread anthrax outbreak, however, “the current facilities [at Cornell] aren’t adequate to handle the problem,” Dubovi said. As of now, “We can work with small amounts of material,” he added. In light of the recent anthrax scares, labs throughout the nation are constructing new facilities that are better able to handle an outbreak, Dubovi said. “There’s an absolute need for a new facility,” he said. The lab’s capabilities are limited by its facilities. The facility was built in 1975, and according to Dubovi it is 30 years behind the current technology. The Diagnostic Laboratory has a deficit of “biocontainment laboratories,” as well as a lack of funds. The lab’s request for state funding in 1990 was denied. “We’re fighting a funding problem,” Dubovi said, adding that the veterinary system “is usually last at the table for consideration” of public health funds. He said the lab needs direct state or federal funding. “The animal systems out there become an important part of the public health surveillance system,” Dubovi added. Archived article by Heather Schroeder
Students React To New Law on Cell Phone Use

By wpengine November 30, 2001

A New York state law prohibiting the use of a cell phone while driving will be put into effect tomorrow. Classifying cell phone communication as an interference to driving, state law officials hope that this new legislation will reduce a driver’s distractions and decrease vehicle-related casualties. According to the New York State Police, offenders of this new legislation will be subject to fines as high as $100, not including additional court fees. While many students have both cell phones and cars, many students interviewed by The Sun appear to be generally receptive to the law, and agree with the motives behind it: the simultaneous use of a cell phone and navigation of a moving vehicle is a dangerous and potentially fatal combination. “I think it’s a good idea,” Joanna Eng ’05 said. Identifying the physical distractions that a cell phone conversation creates for a driver, she added, “People shouldn’t be driving around while having conversations on cell phones, especially since they hold the cell phone in their hand,” she said. Along with the physical interference afforded by cell phones, many students identify the equally dangerous mental distraction that they cause. “I just have a feeling that using a phone while driving completely takes your mind off the road,” Jeff Ballins ’05 said. Tom Klose ’02 agreed. “I’ve noticed [that] people who are using phones and driving at the same time tend to be less aware drivers,” he said. Students supporting the law also indicated that they would act in accordance with it. “I wouldn’t want to use [a cell phone] while driving anyways,” Eng said. Other students, however, are opposed to the law’s implementation and consider the legislation a nuisance. “I think it sucks,” Yu Ishinara ’05 said. But he adds, “There’s an easy solution: use an earpiece [instead of a cell phone].” Christopher Wong ’05 added, “I think it is a decent idea but a waste of funds and time. We’ve got real problems in the world.” Kate Wilkinson ’02 suggests simply pulling over to the side of the road if a phone call is necessary to avoid carelessness while in motion. “If you think the call is going to be [that] important, find the next place to pull over and answer it. If it’s important enough to answer, it’s important enough to give your undivided attention to,” she said. Ballins said, “I usually just pull over if I have to use [a cell phone] anyway, but that’s also the law of ‘The Mom.'”Archived article by Ellen Miller