February 7, 2002

A Very Happy Birthday

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Have you ever wondered what exactly happens when you pop on the Internet and buy a mail-order bride from Russia? Well, if you have, then your mind’s probably in the gutter. But with the release of Birthday Girl, you can finally get all your questions answered.

According to Birthday Girl, what you get is Nicole Kidman. Well, not really Nicole Kidman. You get a Nicole Kidman who can’t speak a lick of English, only Russian. But that hardly matters. When she walks into your house with her ravishing dark hair and her chic, tight-fitting outfits, are words even necessary?

Birthday Girl —