April 1, 2002

Lee, Wattenberg Enter Pro Realm

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Junior co-captain Clint Wattenberg and freshman Travis Lee of the wrestling team dropped a surprise announcement on the Cornell athletic community this weekend, proclaiming that they would join the World Wrestling Federation as a tag team this summer.

It’s true. Oh, it’s true.

Wattenberg, who was named a first-team All-American at 184 lbs. after winning EIWAs and performing well at nationals, sported skintight leather pants and a rhinestone-studded cowboy hat as he made the announcement.

“I just have one thing to say to the rest of the WWF,” shouted Wattenberg as he glared at onlookers. “One. Eight. Seven.”

By his side was Lee, who wore matching pants and several leis around his neck. The native of Hawaii was named a second-team All American as well as EIWA and Ivy League Rookie of the Year.

At 5-4, 125 lbs., Lee may seem undersized for WWF action, but the freshman seemed unfazed by his size disadvantage.

“I’m not worried,” he declared. “I’m a lot quicker than the big guys on the wrestling circuit, and besides, when they see my finishing move, I have a feeling they’ll be the ones wetting themselves.”

Lee’s move, which he dubbed “The Luau,” is a hold he perfected in practice against senior Jim Stanec, who was also named to the All-American second team.

“When you have guys who wrestled side-by-side with The Rock and Chris Jericho, that’s a huge benefit to your team as far as leadership and experience,” head coach Rob Koll explained. “Although, Travis is about the size of Triple H’s right leg.”

The duo hasn’t yet chosen pseudonyms to wrestle under, although Lee and Wattenberg, who hails from Chico, Calif., said they were leaning toward “The Hula-gan and California Love,” respectively.

Wattenberg and Lee will be returning to Ithaca for next season’s schedule after their summer stint is done. The pair of All-Americans will join the ranks of Chuck and Billy and the Dudley Boys after finals end on May 18.

EDITOR’S NOTE: April Fools! We got you this time. This story is not real.

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