April 1, 2002

Princeton Forfeits Rest of Lax Season

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PRINCETON, N.J. — After rolling off 37 consecutive wins in the Ivy League, Princeton head lacrosse coach Bill Tierney has suspended his team’s season indefinitely. The decision comes one day after the Tigers lost their first Ivy League game in seven years on their own Class of ’52 Field.

Yale, who lost to Cornell one week ago 8-4, beat 15-13 Princeton for their second conference win. Princeton (2-4, 0-1 Ivy), the defending NCAA champion, has not allowed that many goals to any team other than Syracuse since 1990. Its last Ivy loss came in 1995 against Cornell.

“I’m embarrassed for our players, our program and our university. Until our guys decide that they want to win and show the desire to do that, I won’t let them play another game,” Tierney said yesterday in a conference call.

Surprisingly, Princeton’s Athletic Director Gary Walters supported Tierney’s decision:

“We do not tolerate losing at Princeton. Sure, we suck at football and hockey, but we don’t expect that of lacrosse. What would our alumni think?” he said.

Princeton’s president, Shirley M. Tilghman did not seem bothered by the abrupt ending of the lacrosse campaign either.

“Last year’s title was great for the University, but with all the publicity from the movie A Beautiful Mind, we couldn’t care less,” she said.

Captain B.J. Prager refused to comment. However, many of the athletes of Princeton’s other spring sports were elated by the news, especially the rowers practicing at the Carnegie Inlet.

“Now crew is the biggest spring sport on campus, as it should be,” John Cranston said.

EDITOR’S NOTE: April Fools! We got you this time. This story is not real.

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