Andeberhan: Berhane. The third-year women’s soccer coach. He looks to continue rebuilding the team for the upcoming season.
Bartels Hall: The athletic facility formerly known as Alberding and the Field House. Unfortunately, the Alberding family no longer felt the need to fork over the big bucks — enter Mr. Bartels.
Barton: Barton Hall, cavernous main gym. Big place where ROTCs hang out. Originally built as an airplane hangar, it is the former home of hoops squads. Great pickup basketball games.
Beckwith: Paul. Entering his ninth year as gymnastics coach. One wonders how a 6’4″ man can coach this sport.
Belkin: New home of the Cornell squash teams located behind Reis Tennis Center. Expect big things from the top-notch international courts.
Big Red: 1. A type of chewing gum. 2. The nickname for all Cornell athletic teams. How can you cheer for a “Big Red?”
Big Red Bear: Cornell mascot. Although the bear is brown, not red, students still hold it dear and often pass it through the crowd at football games.
Bloedorn: Greg ’96. Former Big Red offensive lineman was in the Seattle Seahawks organization.
Blood: Dick. Eight-year coach and engineer of the emergence of Cornell softball as a regional power. Before he arrived, the infant program struggled with single-digit victory totals. The next season, the team captured the ECAC title.
Brown: The color of dirt, but also an Ivy school that doesn’t believe in grades, or sports. Best teams are in crew and lacrosse. Officially nicknamed Bears, but the students still call themselves Bruins — their old nickname.
B.U.: Boston University. Hockey rival that pulled out of the ECAC in the ’80s with several other teams to form Hockey East. Inspiration for the all-purpose cheer “Screw B.U., (insert opposing team here) too!”
Clubs: Enjoyable organizations (allegedly) that can’t get funding to join varsity ranks. Rugby and ultimate frisbee are two of the most prominent and successful. Seem to exist mainly to hound Sun editors for better coverage.
Columbia: League doormat in virtually every sport. Does not even have men’s lacrosse and hockey teams. A few years ago, the football team broke the all-time NCAA record for consecutive losses. Although it has improved of late, they would throw a parade down Broadway if it actually won an Ivy title. Added bonus: opponents can laugh at the light blue uniforms.
Cornell: Glorious Ivy League university — perhaps you’ve heard of it. National powerhouse in wrestling, men’s hockey and men’s and women’s lacrosse, among others. At least regionally competitive in most other sports. Be proud and cheer hard, you young fools.
Crew: Grueling year-round sport. Has perhaps the most underrated — and mentally unstable — athletes at Cornell. Who else could endure severe hand blisters or 5:00 a.m. runs down to the boathouse for two-hour practices in 30-degree weather. Pain is their life’s blood.
Cullen: Terry and his late father Bob, that is. Father-son team that coached the Cornell sprint football team “forever” and guided the Red to countless ELFL titles.
Dartmouth: Conservative Ivy foe strong in football, men’s soccer and ice sculpture. Small school, but with proper nourishment could become a full-grown university like the rest of its Ivy pals. Nicknamed the Big Green, a name that always draws chuckles.
Davey: Fight song, played after Cornell scores in any game the Big Red Band bothers to attend, except for basketball where it plays it whenever it can at its own obnoxious decibel level. George M. Cohan stole the melody for “Give My Regards to Broadway.”
Donahue: Steve. Third-year coach of the men’s basketball team. Is a wiz at recruiting and gives Sun Sports Editors unwavering faith in the eventual success of the team.
Dryden: Ken Dryden ’69. Three-time All-American, perennial All-Star and Stanley Cup netminder for the Canadiens. Found his real calling practicing law, however, like nearly every other Cornell grad. Recently named the general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs.
Duesing: Louis. The longtime women’s track coach swept the Ivies last year in each season. Members of his squads often compete at a national level — several Red tracksters earned All-American status during his tenure.
ECAC: Eastern Intercollegiate Athletic Conference, Cornell’s league for men’s and women’s hockey. Gives schools like Union and St. Lawrence a chance to feel smarter.
Eldredge: Dave. Best polo coach in the country. Need proof? Men’s team fell in the national semifinals, while the women’s squad won the whole show for the third straight year.
Faithful (a.k.a. The Lynah Faithful): Half-crazed Cornell hockey fanatics who never miss regular or postseason home games. Climb and bang on plexiglass and throw newspapers, garbage and fish at opposing players. Don’t like Section O, or the referee Murphy (the one with the bad eyes).
Ford: Tom. Coach of the Cornell Nine, now in his 11th year here. A native of the area, a graduate of Ithaca College and an all-around nice guy.
Game (a.k.a. The Game): Cornell vs. Harvard, hockey style. Action on the ice nearly paralleled in the stands. People throw fish at Harvard players. People used to tie chickens to the net between periods, but the SPCA stepped in recently (we’re still looking for someone brazen enough to re-start the tradition). People swear a lot. In between all this, the Big Red and Crimson play some great hockey. We laughed, we cried. A must see.
Graap: Jenny ’86. Fifth-year women’s lacrosse coach who helped the women laxers to a turnaround season in 1998. She took the team into the Final Four in 2002, garnering Coach of the Year awards.
Grumann: Old squash courts. In high demand since they can be used for racquetball as well. Squash can also be grown in the garden.
Hah-vahd: Pronounced Harvard by most of us petit bourgeois. Smug Ivy League school loaded with money, squash courts and stuffy egg-heads. Top-ranked squash, swimming and recently hockey. Nicknamed Crimson — an ugly off-color version of Red.
Helen Newman: Original headquarters of Cornell women’s athletics, now home to pickup basketball games, an indoor swimming pool and a state-of-the-art dance studio. Also houses one of the premier bowling alleys on campus, or in Ithaca for that matter. Named after Mr. Newman’s wife, Helen.
Hoy Field: Home of Big Red baseball. First man to hit one over the formerly big right field fence was Lou Gehrig, according to legendary historian and sports writer Kenny “The Haunter” Van Sickle. The second, again according to Kenny, was George Bush Sr. in his Yale days, before he moved on to better things. Hmmmmm.
I.C.: Ithaca College, the school on the other hill. Division III kingpin in just about every sport. Nicknamed the Bombers, possibly because of an affinity for cheap Ithaca bars.
Jackson: Christie. Volleyball head coach. Heading into her third full-year as head coach, she looks to get the team turned around. Finds Ithaca quite exciting after going to school in Idaho.
Jessup Field: Principal intramural fields located on North Campus. Poor drainage, bright lights, lots of bad bounces.
Kennett: Todd ’91. Lightweight crew coach. Minister of pain. Enjoys putting his team on the Erg machine before sun-up.
Koll: Rob. Ninth-year wrestling coach and All-American, Koll has picked up where previous coach Jack Spates left off. Last year’s team nearly won the Ivies, and looks to be strong again this season.
Levitt: Chad ’97. Second-leadin
g rusher in Ivy history, fell 58 yards short of the record when he was injured during his final season. A fourth-round draft choice of Oakland, Levitt saw limited action in the backfield, but made SportsCenter with a crushing block of All-Pro Junior Seau. Featured in a Converse ad in Sports Illustrated.
Lucia: Joe. Brutally honest men’s swimming coach. Has the unenviable task of charting his guys to the head of the Ivy waves.
Lynah: Lynah Rink, cradle of Cornell hockey fanaticism. Seats 3,824 (when the fire marshals look the other way) plus standing room.
Marinaro: Ed ’72. The best player in Red football history. Appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated on November 1, 1971. After a brief stint in the NFL, he followed in the footsteps of another former great — “Broadway” Joe Namath — and tried his hand at acting. In addition to starring roles on Hill Street Blues and Sisters, Big Ed was hailed as the best Joey Buttafuocco in the rash of Amy Fisher stories.
Mitchell: Chris. Fourth-year head coach of the equestrian team. Has brought stability to the once maligned program and hopes to finally beat Skidmore.
Moore: Charles H. ’51. Former Cornell track star and ex-Athletic Director. Two-time Olympic medalist and former world record-holder in the 440-yard hurdles. Showed a good eye in hiring coaches. Also made waves when he announced that baseball, men’s tennis and lightweight crew would all become self-sustaining.
Moran: Richie. Hall of Fame lacrosse coach. Took Cornell to the NCAA playoffs countless times, and along the way won three national championships. Was once dubbed by Sport Magazine as “The Electric Pear.”
Mullins: Carol. The head coach of the women icers. In addition to having a killer slap shot, she doubles as the golf coach to Sun editors.
Neumer: Marrie. Women’s swimming head coach. Former Division III All-American, she has a proven track-record for leading programs to greatness.
Niemand-Robison Field: Home of the Red softball squad near East Hill Plaza. Still a bit out of walking distance from campus, but an improvement over the trek to Lansing the team used to take.
Nieuwendyk: Joe ’88. Need you ask? NHL Rookie of the Year for Calgary 11 seasons ago with 51 goals who took faceoffs for the Dallas Stars until he was hastily traded to the New Jersey Devils. Cornell MVP in 1987 and a NHL All-Star. Oh yeah, and he has won the Stanley Cup, the Conn Smyth, and Olympic gold. Still owns a house on Cayuga Lake.
Noel: Andy. Current Athletic Director. Jury is still waiting to see if he has the eye for coaches that Moore did. Also would rather be on the sideline during a game than in the press box or stands.
Olbermann: Keith ’79. Former energetic and colorful anchor of ESPN’s SportsCenter and master of the guttural “They’re not gonna get ‘im!” Enjoyed the limelight at FOX. We’re waiting to see where he surfaces next.
Onufrieff: Melanie. Women’s crew head coach. Like all crew coaches, she enjoys preventing her team from having a social life. Last reported sighting of a rower at social function was in 1994.
Payne: Seth ’97. Fourth-round draft pick of the Jacksonville Jaguars in 1997 NFL Draft. With rash of injuries to Jags defensive line, Payne saw quite a bit of time. Was one of the first Texans.
Peters: Al. Head coach of the fencers. Starting to bring the program back to the national spotlight.
Pennsylvania: Slimy Ivy rival in Philadelphia. It has strong athletic teams and questionable recruiting ethics. Learn to hate them. They’re ruthless, bad sports and play to win at whatever cost. And they call themselves Quakers.
Pidto: Bill ’87. Yet another Cornellian now at ESPN. Host of greatest hockey show ever, ESPN2’s NHL 2Night.
Princeton: Yawn. Nickname: Tigers. Location: New Jersey, but fields top-notch basketball and lax teams anyway. Has won more Ivy League titles than any other school with its shady recruiting.
Reis: 1. Popular grain. 2. Cornell’s state-of-the-art tennis facility. Right up there with that decrepit tennis club in England.
Roock: Dan. Heavyweight crew coach.Thus, enjoys the look of pain on others, especially those he coaches.
Rudert: Angela. Women’s tennis coach blessed with a group of talented returning players.
Sarachan: Dave ’76. Assistant coach with two-time MLS champion D.C. United. And assistant to Bruce Arena on the U.S. World Cup team. Led Red booters to two NCAA bids in his final seasons at the helm. Two-time All-American at Cornell. No, he’s not named after the sugar substitute widely used before Nutrasweet