By wpengine
Renowned humor columnist Dave Barry spoke to a full crowd of students, faculty and alumni yesterday evening in Bailey Auditorium. His intended lecture topic was self-declared to be of his, “thoughts on higher education, ” but what resulted was a seemingly series of random anecdotal digressions that made the audience explode into laughter every few minutes. Dave Barry writes humor columns for the Miami Herald. His column is published in approximately 500 newspapers, of which include the Sun, in the United States and abroad and he has written 21, “short but harmful books,” as described by Barry. He opened by noting that he attended Haverford College with Cornell President Hunter R. Rawlings III. “He was a wonderful, wonderful, big man,” Barry said, and in response to the recent increase in Cornellian parties, he jokingly said, “[Rawlings] didn’t party much. He was too busy with the heroine. No, no, it was cocaine.” Subsequent diatribes included commentaries on Miami traffic and the driving skills of its inhabitants. In addition, he touched on the 2000 Presidential election in Florida and said, “Florida. You can’t spell it without a ‘duh’. [The state has] a new system … we’re going to print photographs of the candidates on a piece of paper and people can vote for who they want by poking out their eyeballs … unless they poke out their own eyeballs.” In a description of his literary endeavors, he said, “basically I just sit around in my underwear and make stuff up … kind of like college students.” An anecdote regarding his earlier journalistic years told of his encounter with former First Lady Barbara Bush. “The essence of journalism is asking questions, encountering hostile people. I was never good at that. I lurked in the back, trying to blend in.” So while standing next to her in a photo shoot, he absent-mindedly said, “I shop at the same supermarket as your son Jet. He’s very tall.” Barry pointed out that despite criticisms on the lack of research in his writing, he does actually engage in such endeavors. The example he gave involved experimenting with the ability of the sparks emitted from Rollerblade Barbie dolls to set fire on underwear covered in hairspray after witnessing such an incident caused by his children. Additionally, he spoke about relationships between men and women, saying, “the problem is women .. because they are simply better than us. Women are more complex and deeper so they tend to think [men] are complicated as well.” He then addressed the female portion of the audience and said, “to the women here, lower your standards.” Barry then offered the, “ultimate paradigm for solving a problem” when discussing the Oregon State Highway Division’s (OSHD) response to a dead and rotting whale corpse stranded on the beach. It was a typical, “textbook whale disposal”, Barry commented. The OSHD blew up the whale. Describing the whale innards strewn about the vicinity, on the spectators and on the local cameraman, Barry explained that if ever presented with a problem, “do not ask the Oregon State Highway Division to help you solve it.” After that story, Barry opened the floor up to questions from the audience. He responded to these student-posed questions with witty comebacks and many times did not answer the intended question. When asked about recommendations for the next Cornell president, Barry said, “I’d do it. As long as I don’t have to live here, I’d be glad to be president of Cornell.” “We couldn’t imagine how [Barry] was going to structure this lecture. But he couldn’t have done a more terrific job of bridging the gap between being a standup comedian and a journalist in his lecture style, ” said Prof. Kevin Clermont, law. “I thought his column writing style translated very well to a stage presentation,” added Becky Heinig ’03. For those who were long-time fans of Barry’s work concluded that his performance met their expectations. “Many of his anecdotes were from his published works so some of the stories weren’t all that new. But regardless, he was still very entertaining. I came here for funnies stories and that’s what I got, ” said Monica Stump, ’03. Some of those works include the best-selling author of 23 books, of which include Babies and other Hazards of Sex, Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States, Dave Barry is from Mars and Venus, and his latest that is scheduled to be published in a few days, Tricky Business. In 1988, he won the Pulitzer Price in Commentary. Besides his literary preoccupations, he plays lead guitar in a literary rock band called the ‘Rock Bottom Remainders’, whose other members include Stephen King, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson and Mitch Albom. The now canceled CBS TV sitcom “Dave’s World, ” of which actor Harry Anderson played Barry, was based on two of his books. According to Prof. Alison Lurie, english, Barry, “knows how to find serious craziness in the real world.” His appearance also sparked further interest in those new to his work. “Truthfully, I had never even heard of Dave Barry but I came because my friend had tickets. I really enjoyed myself and laughed my tail off the entire time. This was my first exposure to him and now I’ll definitely go check out some of his work, ” said Molly Dahlgren, ’03. “I was disappointed that it ended at 9:30 P.M. because it was scheduled to end at 10:00 P.M. I wished it could’ve lasted longer since there was ample amount of time and only a few of the students were able to ask questions while the rest were denied, ” said Andrew Alexander, a senior at Ithaca High School. However, the overall sentiment of the event was praise-worthy, apparently evident by the standing ovation that Barry received at its closing. Some of Barry’s parting words to the Cornell audience were, “stay in college. There is only one thing that is better in the real world. There’s parking.” Sun Contributor Liz Goulding contributed to this story.Archived article by Jennifer Chen
By wpengine
The volleyball team traveled south to Atlanta this weekend for the Georgia Tech Invitational. The squad expected and experienced a tougher level of competition, as two of its opponents in the invite had appeared in the NCAA tournament last year, and the other posted a 20-plus win season. On Friday, the Red (4-3, 0-0 Ivy) faced Alabama in a frustrating match. Cornell paced the Crimson Tide throughout the first game, outhitting its opponent .300-.163, but came away on the short end of a 34-32 score. The second game had a similar tune, as the Red again outhit Alabama, .286-.270, but could not close out the game and lost 30-28. Alabama finessed its way through the third game, as it hit .455 to Cornell’s .103 and took the match with a 30-20 score. “On the one hand, we were very upset that it was totally do able and we didn’t do it,” head coach Christie Jackson said of winning the match. “On the other hand, it was a really good match. We were really proud of [our play] because that team is really good.” “It was bittersweet because we felt like we should have finished it off,” she added. Junior opposite hitter Jennifer Bibber, who is averaging more than 15 kills per game this season, propelled the Tide with 19 kills and five digs in the contest. “It just came down to a few simple plays at the end of the game,” junior setter Rachel Rice explained. “We were with them the whole time, just not at the end. But it was a big step up for us. Our level of play improved from [the Robert Morris Invitational last weekend] to that match.” “We were proud of the way we played, but we definitely didn’t play to our full potential because of a lack of experience and little mistakes,” junior outside hitter Debbie Quibell recalled. “The whole match was tight. We were point for point with them. We just didn’t close it out.” After that loss, Cornell headed back on the court to face Florida International. In dramatic fashion, the Red rebounded to take the match in three straight games, 30-22, 31-29, and 30-27. The win came despite a .148 hitting percentage on the match for Cornell, which bested the Golden Panther’s .048 average. The Red also prevented any player on the opposing squad from reaching double digits in any offensive category. “There were a lot of people who were disappointed we didn’t beat Alabama. We were definitely on a mission to make up for that,” Jackson said. “We definitely took control of the match [against Florida]. We gave them nothing.” “We just focused on what we did well in the Alabama match and did the little things better,” Rice recollected. “And followed what our coaches told us to a tee.” “Nothing they did affected us and we maintained the level of play that we told ourselves to,” Quibell added. “If we made a mistake, we would move on and play harder. We were focused the whole time and there was no doubt from the beginning that we were the stronger team in that match.” The following day, Cornell faced host Georgia Tech. Seeking more challenging matches, the Red certainly got what it bargained for against the Yellow Jackets. Riding a five-match winning streak, Tech wasted no time coming out of the gate in the first game and taking it 30-16 with a .310 hitting mark to the Red’s .079. In game two, Cornell cooled down the Jackets for the first third of the match but succumbed to an 8-0 Tech run and a 30-14 final score. Game three of the match also went to the host squad after a 30-18 defeat of the Red, but Cornell continued to make adjustments and hit .318 in the final frame to Tech’s .480. “We played well, and it was another step up from the other teams this weekend,” Rice said. “It was a good wake up call because it showed us that we have to come in every day very focused.” “They are very, very well rounded and very good. Everyone thought it was just an incredible match,” Jackson complimented. “The scores don’t show how well we played them.” “The tech game was a bit of a disappointment for all of us,” Quibell admitted. “They are top 25 team. but we still felt we could have played them better.” Cornell also experienced a crowd unlike any other it had seen before. “There were 1,300 people there, and we had never played in front of a crowd like that,” Jackson said. “There was so much school spirit there that we don’t have at Cornell, and that was great to see.” The Yellow Jackets were undefeated over the two days and won the tournament. Its success this weekend garnered it a No. 25 ranking in the AVCA national poll. For the Red over the entire weekend, Quibell, the team’s representative on the all-tournament team, had 25 kills and 28 digs. Senior outside hitter Angela Barbera tallied 30 kills and 20 digs while Rice had 68 assists and five service aces. Going into the weekend, the Red knew its blocking game would be put to the test and it passed with flying colors. Cornell out blocked its opponents in all three matches 12-7, 10-8, and 7-4 against Alabama, Florida International, and Georgia Tech, respectively. “If we win one, it is going to be an awesome weekend, and we almost pulled out two,” Jackson ended. “We played at a level we haven’t ever played before. The challenge is to now play at a level we haven’t played before against the Ivy League teams.” Archived article by Katherine Granish