October 4, 2002

Ranting and Raving

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It’s time for that first prelim of the year — I took mine last night — so that means that coherent thoughts are hard to come by. But the Sports Editor demands I write a column! What should I do? Well, I guess I’ll just ramble this week.

Leading off…

Maybe it’s just me, but I think that what people had to go through to get men’s hockey season tickets would technically be counted as hazing by the University.

Let’s see … sleep deprivation, forcing people to be places at certain times, putting students in an overheated, foul-smelling room for 24 hours — all to join that glorious fraternity of season-ticket holders. But don’t get me wrong, I’d do it all again to get tickets.

Wouldn’t it be nice if Cornell cancelled classes for a football game? Unbelievably, that happened yesterday and today down at Florida State. FSU scheduled a Thursday night game against Clemson and then, when it realized that 80,000 fans descending on campus might disrupt classes, cancelled instruction!

I realize that some schools place the athletic endeavors of their student-athletes above their education. But when a school puts the football teamabove all classes, that’s just wrong.

I was impressed when I talked to senior quarterback Mick Razzano. I’m glad he’s a nice guy. He’d be real intimidating if he weren’t friendly — he’s jacked and tattooed. All he would have had to do was make a sudden noise and move towards me quickly, and I would have jumped.

Did anyone notice that the part of Trillium between the deli and the grill that used to be called “Beggar’s Bowl” was renamed to “Smoke ‘N Bowl”? Areyou kidding? Was the name “Bong Hits” taken?

What was up with the bizarre formation the footballteam used against Yale in extra-point situations? It lined the offensive line up to the left of the ball and used some sort of decoy with the kicker. I’ve never seen anything like it, and it didn’t even work — all three times it tried the gimmick. And what is a “snap infraction” anyway?

Maybe it’s just me, but when I found out that Nelly’s given first name is Cornell, I felt a sense of school pride. So what if it has nothing to do with our University? I don’t know any rappers out there named Harvard or Penn.

When I was a freshman and my parents brought me to Cornell, my dad ran into men’s hockey head coach Mike Schafer ’86 on the first day I was here. My dad told Schafer that I was a hockey player and came away from the conversation suggesting that I try out for the team. Now, I can skate forwards and backwards and stop and all, but I’m a crappy hockey player. I play in a men’s league downtown. I can’t hang with the club team, let alone the varsity. But I love the sport.

So I think if I could get on the ice with the men’s hockey team, that would be one of the coolest things to happen to me in my four years here. Just 15 minutes of a practice, that’s all I ask. Coach Schafer, can you make this happen?

Hey, Bear Lodge, I thought you were supposed to be a sports bar and grill. So what’s up with being closed on a Sunday afternoon? I wanted to watch my Eagles stomp the Texans and get lunch and a beer while I was at it. Sunday afternoon is prime time for sports bars…not to mention that you have a sign in your window saying you show the football games on Sunday.

And speaking of pro football, I’d like to point out that in this very column four weeks ago, I picked the Rams not to win their division, a prediction several people told me was silly. Well, they’re 0-4 now, and they just lost Kurt Warner for eight weeks. Now, I regret picking them to even take the wild card.

Hope you enjoyed the unrelated paragraphs. I’ll be back in two weeks, refreshed from Fall Break and ready to put together one logical column.

Archived article by Alex Fineman