December 5, 2002

Entertainment News

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Driver’s Ed

Publicist-to-the-stars Lizzie Grubman was released from a New York jail Friday for good behavior, serving only 37 days of her 60-day sentence. For those who don’t remember, the publicist made headlines last year for backing her father’s Mercedes SUV into a line of people after calling bouncers at an upscale Hamptons nightspot “white trash.” To top off the night’s felonious festivities, she fled the scene in another vehicle.

According to her lawyer, Stephen Scarring, “most of the inmates were rather fond of her.” And with a charming personality like that, who wouldn’t.

So remember kids, the moral of the story is that as long as you’re rich, white, and drive an expensive SUV you can plow into as many pedestrians as you want.

Shit, I’m never walking through Collegetown again.

Not That Dirty

Pop-princess Christina Aguilera vehemently denies reports that she’s talking with Playboy to pose for the magazine … clothed.

“That’s a rumour I guess I have to squash, because I’ve never even talked to Playboy” she insisted. “It’s not something I want to do, at least not right now.”

What’s the point, her “Dirrty” video is racier than anything that appears in Playboy … not that I know about such things.

In related news, Britney Spears turned 21 earlier this week.

Naked Truth

According to film review site, audiences of all types hate George Clooney’s latest flick Solaris. The movie received an F from every demographic group on the site, making it the most reviled movie in 20 years. Box office results certainly support the ranking: the sci-fi love story earned a mere $6.7 million in seventh place over the weekend.

I wonder if those ratings are in spite of or because of Clooney’s naked ass making a cameo appearance.

Speed Demons

According to the Orlando Sentinel a six-mile stretch of Interstate 75 in southern Florida will be closed to traffic for much of next week due to filming for the Fast & the Furious 2.

It’s a good thing they’re telling people — drivers wouldn’t be able to distinguish the action-race scenes from the normal interstate traffic.

Giraffe Gaff

Britain’s Plain English Campaign has awarded actor Richard Gere the dubious honor of being the year’s most unintelligible celebrity speaker. The campaign’s Foot in Mouth award was bestowed upon Gere Wednesday after the former World’s Sexiest Man compared himself to a giraffe in a newspaper interview earlier this year: “I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I’d think, no, actually I’m a giraffe,” he told Britain’s Guardian newspaper in June.

How are people supposed to know who you are when they can’t understand a word you’re saying? Cindy Crawford obviously didn’t marry the man for his eloquence.

Career Move

Tonya Harding has decided to join an institution with slightly fewer corrupt officials than Olympic skating: professional boxing. She’ll make her debut as a professional practitioner of the sweet science in February on the undercard of a Mike Tyson fight in Memphis.

I guess Tyson is trying to class up his image and wanted someone on the card that made him look good

Archived article by Matt Chock