October 9, 2003
| October 9, 2003
So, it turns out that this entertainment editor thing doesn’t pay as well as we thought — that is to say, it doesn’t pay at all (monetarily speaking, the karma’s incredible though). And it seems that the ability to name the directors of Performance or every lineup of Parliment Funkadelic are not actually marketable job skills. But don’t worry about us, we can always be homicide detectives or state’s attorneys.
You see, every night when we stumble home from work or grab a minute during the day to turn on the TV, Law & Order is on. No, really. It doesn’t matter when, it doesn’t matter where, it doesn’t even matter what channel. The show is like the freakin’ ghost of Tom Joad, it’s always there. It’s proof of the human ingenuity to both create crime and solve it. We couldn’t help absorbing some useful lessons: all you need to do to win a trial is speak with a quaver in your voice and enunciate random words, suspects who ask for their lawyers never really mean it, and the person who you know couldn’t possibly have done it, did it. And remember, rich people commit crime too, they just tend to do it in far more interesting ways than the rest of us. Oh, and the cops always look like intuitive geniuses except when there’s a crossover with Homicide: Life on the Streets, and Bayliss and Pembleton kick their collective asses. Lastly, if all else fails, ask Adam Schiff, and he’ll tell you exactly what to do. The man is the closest thing to God on earth. Need another reason to watch the show? Don’t worry, it’s always on. You can’t miss it.
Archived article by Erica Stein
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October 10, 2003
It’s been a roller coaster ride of a season for the women’s soccer team. The Red tied its first game, got shut out in its second, and then went on to win its next five in a row. Penn took the wind out of the team’s sails quickly last Saturday, though, when the Quakers beat Cornell, 3-1, and sent junior goalie Katie Thomas to the emergency room with a concussion. On Wednesday, however, the team bounced back with a 2-1 win over Colgate. The victory gave the Red an overall record of 6-2-1. It also gave the team the confidence it will need to take on Ivy League rival Harvard tomorrow at Berman field. “Harvard’s a good team. There’s no doubt about it,” said assistant coach Gretchen Zigante. “We’re the underdog here, but we’re playing well and looking for an upset.” The women know that Harvard’s team is solid on both sides of the ball. In its game against the University of New Hampshire on Wednesday, the Crimson peppered 31 shots at goalie Liz McKay while allowing only three to reach its own netminder, Katie Shields. But, the Crimson, 3-2-3 overall, is vulnerable, and Cornell’s women hope to capitalize. “Everyone says that they’re a good team,” said freshmen Katrina Matlin. “But they’re not unbeatable.” After reviewing film this past week, the Red picked up several of Harvard’s tendencies, and the team has adjusted its own game plan to defend against them and create scoring opportunities. “Harvard usually plays a 4-4-2 or a 4-3-3,” said Zigante. “So, what we plan to do is compensate by adding an extra midfielder or defender. And, if we decided we don’t need it, we’ll put her up front.” Zigante and head coach Berhane Andeberhan hope to accomplish two things with the strategy. First, the Red wants to stop Harvard’s leading scorer, junior midfielder Alisha Moran. Coming in to tomorrow’s game, Moran has six goals and one assist for the Crimson. Her 13 points rank six ahead of the Crimson’s next leading scorer. Second, the women want to help freshmen goalie, Matlin, as much as possible. The rookie started her first game Wednesday in place of the injured Thomas, and she will play between the posts again tomorrow. The Encinitas, Calif. native knows she has big shoes to fill, but refuses to the let the pressure get to her. “It’s nerve-racking, and I’m a little bit nervous,” she said, “but it’s also pretty cool to be out there, and we have a really intense team, which helps me.” Matlin’s confidence stems from the Red’s performances so far this year. In particular, senior Emily Knight, and sophomores Shannon Frasier and Ali Gombar have delivered outstanding performances. Offensively, Knight has scored in nearly every game for the Red this season, while Gombar and Frasier have teamed up for numerous assists and goals of their own. “Emily [Knight] is just on fire this year,” said Zigante, “and Shannon Frasier and Ali Gombar are coming on strong.” On the defensive half, junior Natalie Dew and fellow defender, senior Karne Hukee, have teamed up to stop marauding forwards. Their efforts, with help from Thomas, have combined for three shutouts so far. “We respect Harvard, and we’re trying to take this season one game at a time,” concluded Zigante. “But we know that we have the potential to win this game. We want a W.”Archived article by Everett Hullverson
October 10, 2003
When I was in the eighth grade, my English teacher made our class take two hours a week to read Greek mythology. We were supposed to learn about Zeus, Hera, Athena and all those other wonderful gods and their wonderful tales. To me, it was boring stuff — even with the great pictures, it was dry. While most of my classmates spent their time dutifully reading, I spent my time drawing little “swooshes” on the page that detailed Nike, the goddess of victory. You can’t blame me … Nike was the apparel of choice back then, at least out in California. As I moved on into high school, we were assigned classics such as Antigone (which I’m sure all those incoming freshmen loved, right?) and Oedipus. Ah, you just can’t beat incest and murder. Well, although I didn’t read the literature as carefully as my teachers would have liked, I did draw one pretty important lesson. Apparently, heroes were always doomed because they had a little too much pride. They were a little too full of themselves. They suffered from hubris. And that brings me to professional sports and athletes. Because it’s become clear that like me, they also decided to draw “swooshes” or shoot free throws or practice their slapshot instead of reading. How else can you explain some of the inexplicable acts that athletes have perpetrated over the last few years? On Sept. 29, Atlanta Thrashers’ star forward Dany Heatley crashed his sports car in a one-car accident while speeding along in excess of 80 miles per hour on a narrow road. Heatley, one of the brightest young players in the NHL, escaped the wreck with complete tears of his medial collateral ligament and anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee. Yeah, his season is over before it even began and his career is in jeopardy. But he was lucky. His passenger and teammate, Dan Snyder, sustained a fractured skull in the accident and died this past Sunday. He was only 25. Heatley is only 22. And now, after losing his teammate and possibly his career, Heatley may lose his freedom, as he faces a charge of first-degree vehicular homicide. In a situation such as this, fans feel sympathy and sorrow. And while I share those same feelings, I’m also befuddled. Not that Heatley and Snyder deserved the cruel hand that fate dealt to them, but there’s a reason why speed limits are in place. There’s a reason why you’re supposed to drive at the speed limit or slightly above as most people do. There are consequences when you don’t obey the regulations in place … sometimes those punishments are merely speeding tickets and fines. In this case, unfortunately, it was a life. Athletes seem to be more prone to reckless behavior than the average American. Many people argue that athletes aren’t more reckless, but are just in the public eye. All I know is that if I were in the public eye, I’d live my life more carefully than I already do. The fact of the matter is that athletes think they’re invincible. Many times, whether they’re on a court, a field, or a rink, they are. They have thousands if not millions of fans who revere them. Sure, they’re always at risk for on-field injuries, but for the most part, they’re on top of the world, or so they think. And after their games, and after their seasons, they carry that feeling with them to their private lives. That’s why Jay Williams sped around in his high-powered motor bike. Now, he can barely walk and his once promising basketball career is in jeopardy. That’s why Jeff Kent popped a wheelie during spring training in 2002. He wound up breaking his wrist. That’s why Bobby Phils drag-raced teammate David Wesley after practice for the then-Charlotte Hornets. Tragically, he endured the same fate as Snyder. And that’s why Kobe Bryant felt that he could commit adultery (or worse) and keep it from his wife and newborn child. At the end of the day, athletes are the same as you, I, and any other human being. They still breathe air, eat food, and drink water. Their bones still break, and when they’re cut, they bleed. It’s a shame that too many times, they’re not aware of their mortality. For some, such as Dany Heatley and Dan Snyder, they realize just a little too late.Archived article by Alex Ip