October 23, 2003

11 Ways of Looking at a Diner

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Midnight-4 a.m. John Penning & Sue Karp

12:00 a.m.: It all begins, this slow (and lengthy) journey into the wee hours of the State Street Diner starts with a bang. Right now there’s just a few old couples chatting about who they know who’s dead. The women have platinum blond, short, curly grandma hair.

1:10 a.m.: In walks a guy with the strangest white lower lip: He looks like he ate a powdered doughnut and forgot to wipe the powder off. This is offset by the extreme tan of his lined face.

1:45 a.m.: This guy is standing outside with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s surrounded by a harem of blondes. Now they’ve moved the party inside, including the bottle.

1:57 a.m.: “Coffee to me is like blood to a vampire,” according to John. Next he starts writing “straw wrapper” all over the straw wrapper. An exercise in the obvious.

2:05 a.m.: Woman donning a purple feather boa with a tiger-print tie wrapped around her head makes an entrance. She seems to be hitting on every guy except the one she came in with. John is from Jersey, so he’s well-versed in diner behavior and is taken aback at nothing. Sue, as a na