October 30, 2003

Test Spin: Keoki

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I’m going to be completely honest with you. I wish this CD were never made. Otherwise I wouldn’t have had to sit through all 29 tracks of the mind-numbing techno drudgery that is Kill the DJ. The inevitable pun is the artist’s own damn fault: someone should kill Keoki.

At this point, you probably said to yourself, “29 tracks!?” Thankfully, many of them are less than a minute long. But they all run together, and with almost no variation between the beats of each song, it just sounds like one big, electronic mess. I can just see the grungy DJ from Zoolander spinning this record during Mugatu’s “Derelict” show.

But what makes this album take the leap from bland and boring to outright bad? It’s the fact that most of the songs are disgraceful mash-ups of ones that were already good. The Ramones’ “Judy is a Punk,” Joy Division’s “She’s Lost Control,” and the Cure’s “The Walk” (among others) are almost ruined forever. I had to listen to the original versions immediately to remind myself that I didn’t hate them.

Also, Keoki went so far as to include a newscast reporting the death of Sid Vicious as track 26. There was no music behind it, just a woman talking. Not only was this pretentious, but it was downright stupid, just like Kill the DJ.

Archived article by Ross McGowan

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