November 13, 2003

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Matrix Revolutionizes Box Office

This past Wednesday Matrix Revolutions opened simultaneously on an unprecedented 18,013 screens (including 60 IMAX screens) at 10,013 theaters in 107 countries. It is estimated that the single-day tally for Revolutions at the North American box office was $24.3 million, the third-highest-grossing Wednesday behind Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace ($28.5 million) and The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers ($26.2 million). If this pattern keeps up, Revolutions will show a big dip in sales compared to The Matrix Reloaded’s opening in May at $42.5 million, probably due to the critical drubbing that the film has been getting in the last couple of weeks. Apparently the opening of Revolutions didn’t come cheap either. Warner Brothers spent an estimated $100 million to set-up the debut, which began at the exact same moment around the globe. It is estimated that the film will rake in about $100 million by the end of the week.

C’mon Get Desperate

Television networks have run out of ideas so they have decided to capitalize on successful television shows from the ’70s. Because the ’70s were so successful. So, as if the hit show The Partridge Family didn’t screw those actors up enough to begin with, they have decided to do it again. But with new people! C’mon get happy kids, cause this is going to be a brand spankin’ new remake. The sitcom/musical act will be revived by VH1, and it will be exactly like the old one, except updated. It has been 33 years since the show aired on ABC, introducing the clan headed by mom Shirley and her five children Keith, Laurie, Danny, Tracy, and Chris, along with the band’s swingin’ manager Mr. Kincaid. Let’s hope that this new series won’t cause any destructive teen-idols or obsessive compulsive eating disordered girls. Responding to queries as to whether he will appear in the new series, Brian Forster, the original Chris Partridge, commented, “I’m very interested if there’s any role for me. Reuben Kincaid? Sure, why not? I’m a 43-year-old bachelor.” Oh, God help us.

Words Cannot Express

Unfortunately, now that reality shows are the most popular choice for the average viewer, networks are still on the hunt for new ideas that will tickle our curiosity. The newest venture to hit iNDEMAND and other Pay-per-view outlets is the eight-episode miniseries Can You Be A Porn Star? Mary Carey and Free Will Humping star Tabitha Stevens will host the series, which will debut on January 8. Industry legend Ginger Lynn will head a panel of judges who have collectively appeared in many porn flicks including Whore of the Worlds and Thai Me Up. The show will track 28 women as they move into a Los Angeles home and undergo photo shoots, interviews, challenges, and plenty of uninhibited nudity. The winner will receive a one-year video contract and $100,000. Producer Harry Feingold promises that the show will be enjoyable and addictive for the whole adult family (i.e., not only horny single guys).

Nathan and Matt Produce Yet Again

It’s official that Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick will return for a 14-week stint on Broadway again in The Producers starting December 30. Their return will give the show a much needed box office boost and hopefully return the production to its original revenue of more than $1 million a week. The actors don’t come cheap, though. Rumor has it that Lane and Broderick will rake in $100,000 a week each.

Archived article by Amanda Hodes