February 12, 2004

Everybody Hearts

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How to Have a Typical Valentine’s

1. Wake up at 5:30 am.

2. Buy a lovely, hand-decorated journal. Scent it with lavender and insert small rose petals throughout the pages. Then spend a few hours writing down everything you love about your lover’s body, mind, personality, etc. Copy this book, and select a page for the skywriter in order for him to write your love on the cosmos soon.

3. By 9 a.m., put some candles all around the room, hire a small chamber quartet, and close the blinds. When your lover comes in, seat them near the quartet and sit quietly knowing how much you love one another.

4. Take your lover to a restaurant for brunch. Often, it is difficult to express your love in public places. Some restaurants will let you rent out the entire dining area for a small fee. Order the most extravagant things on the menu, but only nibble at them.

5. Take your lover to the park. Here is where the skywriter should be. Afterwards, rent a gondola and, if possible, have them take you to the Syracuse Zoo’s adorable koala exhibit. Bring Chardonnay.

6. Around 6, whisk your lover off to a golden field in Ulysses. Yesterday, you should have set up a few body-size mirrors that fan-out. (You might need to hire movers to do this.) When sunset hits, it will be rebounding every which way around your bodies, and the hues will percolate into all your love.

7. Have a sort of light dinner at a not-too-fancy establishment for a little bit of a respite from the exhilaration of today’s festivities.

8. Show your lover the mansion you bought a week ago by selling all your stock options.

9. Propose to your lover on the lawn surrounded by ice sculptures of your lover’s face.

10. Time to enter the bed chambers.

Beckett Beckons to Love (Quotes from Endgame)

HAMM: I’ll give you nothing more to eat.

CLOV: Then we’ll die.

HAMM: Why do you stay with me?

CLOV: There’s no one else.

HAMM: There’s nowhere else.

HAMM: You don’t love me.


Candy, Clich