February 19, 2004

Editor's Note

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Oscars: A stream of consciousness. Oscar the grouch, bald gold man, Debbie Allen choreography, Jack Palance doing one armed pushups, Billy Crystal, Cuba Gooding Jr., unfortunate reaction shots, untimely orchestra intrusion, and random montages of dead people we didn’t know had died.

Oscars: the traditional linear narrative. After all the discussion about moving the ceremony up a month, the far-better than usual roster of nominees, and the controversy of screeners, we simply had to make the daze Oscar issue an annual feature, even if it is a week early.

No, we are not prophets. We’re not oracles. We don’t have a crystal ball. But we do have an overarching sense of justice and self-importance that allows us to posit our very own, patented should win/gonna win list. Printed here, so you may partake in and win your own Oscar pool (and then pay us commission, 15% to be exact). And because we didn’t pen the feature, here’s our invaluable opinion:

Best Film — Lord of the Rings (should be Lost in Translation)

Best Actor — Bill Murray (should be anyone but Jude Law)

Best Actress — Charlize Theron (we’re OK with that)

Best Supporting Dude — Tim Robbins (Alec Baldwin)

Best Supporting Chick — Shohreh Ashdashloo (cool)

Best Director — Peter Jackson (Sophia Coppola)

Archived article by Erica Stein