By April 29, 2004
My freshman writing seminar was a personal essay class, and the TA gave me a B- on every single thing I turned in. About halfway through the semester, since I couldn’t seem to do anything right, I started turning in intentionally incoherent and stupid essays just to see what would happen: B-, B-, B-. It didn’t matter. College was the worst thing for my self-esteem since puberty. Cornell is not a lovey-dovey place. It does not want to hug you and nurture you. It wants you to go to twelve different offices to track down one particular form that you have to drop off at yet another office, never to hear about it again. It doesn’t seem to care whether you succeed or not, and ignores you unless you secure yourself some kind of campus position. For me, college was an exercise in understanding my lack of intellectual prowess. Instead of making me want to try harder and do my best, the hyper-competitive academic atmosphere made me want to die. Anything I did seemed brutally unrewarding. The one A any professor was willing to give out in a given class of 50 students never went to me because there was always someone smarter than me to scoop up the coveted thing. I gave up creative writing because in my third semester of it, I had a fellow student actually raise his voice to me, telling me that my poem didn’t make sense and that there was nothing I could do to fix it. I’m not saying the University should have patted me on the back after every prelim — we all know how we pride ourselves on being the Ivy that doesn’t hold students’ hands for four years. But being left in the dark isn’t such a great option either. I’m sure my ill feelings toward college aren’t the norm. I’m sure if I were on the hockey team I’d think life was peachy. As it is, I don’t think I’m going to miss Cornell. I will, however, probably miss Ithaca. It’s a lovely town. There are plenty of things every student should do before they graduate and leave Ithaca, and none of them involve Cornell: Do not climb up to the top of the clock tower to view your alma mater from the sky. We’ve all seen the University from every angle — it will not change between now and graduation. Instead, climb up a trail in the Six Mile Creek Preserve. If you follow the paths far enough south, you’ll end up at Potter’s Falls. If you ever wished you’d seen more nudity in your college years, this is the place to meet your quota. Absolutely do not attend a chimes concert. For four years you’ve heard Aaron Copeland’s “Hoe Down” along with renditions of every single Disney song ever produced. Also, do not attend an a cappella concert. This should be a given. Instead, go see some live music at Castaway’s or ABC or See Spot. See a real band, drink a beer, and injure your eardrums a little. Note: Johnny O’s does not count. Do not attend a Senior Week “brunch” at Ruloff’s. Instead, spend at least three consecutive hours in Wegman’s. You’ll never again have access to such a place, or if you do, you’ll never again have the free time to hang out in a grocery store for three hours. If you have to get drunk or stoned to do this, so be it. Don’t take a nostalgic tour of campus. Save that for your reunions when you’ll have a youthful tour guide to whom you can explain all about what Cornell used to be like: That building is new, and that over there is where I used to have math class! Instead of walking around campus for the ten millionth time, walk around town. If you need something from the Commons, walk there. If you need something from Wegman’s, walk there. And walk back up the hill when you’re done. Don’t go to your “dorm reunion.” You hated your freshman roommate. Instead, introduce yourself to one person who is in no way affiliated with Cornell. Just stop someone on the street if you have to. Ask them what they like about living here. Do not play Frisbee on the Arts Quad. Too many trees, too many people, no grills. Instead, pick up some tofu dogs and have a barbeque at Stewart Park. The lake is a much more scenic Frisbee backdrop than Olin Library. Don’t watch the sun set on campus, watch it set at Sunset Park in Cayuga Heights. The view is better –there aren’t all those buildings to get in the way. And no matter what, at graduation do not cry for Cornell. Cry for your friends, or cry for your lost youth. But don’t cry for the University — it’s not crying for you. Archived article by Thea Brown
By April 29, 2004
While the vast majority of Cornell students will find themselves passing out with joy during the upcoming Slope Day events, the men’s lacrosse team will have a different agenda in mind: staying on top. The squad currently stands at the zenith of the Ivy League after leap-frogging Princeton this past weekend with a 12-11 overtime victory. As classes draw to a close and the end of the regular season comes into view, the teams of the Ancient Eight will be furiously attempting to dethrone the reigning Red and claim the title for their own. Hence, a look at last weekend’s action and what it means for the Ivy League standings in this week’s episode of Around the Ivies. Brown 9, Dartmouth 6 In a high-stakes clash of nationally-ranked powerhouses, the No. 16 Bears prevailed over the No. 20 Green, 9-6, to improve their record to 2-2 in league and create a logjam in the middle of the Ivy standings. Dartmouth jumped out to an early 1-0 lead with 11:56 remaining in the first quarter behind a goal from senior Russell Radebaugh, but the advantage would be short-lived, as the Bears responded with four first quarter tallies of their own. Down 5-2 at the beginning of the second half, the Green came within two off a goal by junior midfielder Ben Ginnell with 13:52 remaining in the third quarter. Yet, it would be as close as Dartmouth would get, as Brown junior Chazz Woodson scored his second goal of the game, and classmate Britton Derkac added two of his own to cement the Bears’ eighth victory of the season. Woodson continues to lead his squad with 25 goals and 16 assists, but the spotlight this week belonged to freshman defenseman Bobby Shields, whose stellar defensive work against Green attack Jamie Coffin earned him Ivy League Rookie of the Week honors. Harvard 11, Yale 10 Another exciting chapter was added to one of the most storied rivalries in sports Saturday as the Crimson pulled out a last-second victory over the Bulldogs in front of 2,423 spectators at Johnson Field in New Haven, Conn. Harvard attack Mike McBride etched his name permanently into the minds of Yale defenders after he scored with 2.7 seconds left in regulation to improve the Crimson’s league record to 2-3 (6-5 overall). Meanwhile, the Elis’ Ivy struggles continued as they fell to 1-5 in the Ancient Eight and cemented their position as the league’s bottom-dwellers. The game was unpredictable from start to finish, with both teams trading four goals apiece to knot things up at the end of the first quarter. The Crimson then jumped ahead with three goals in the second quarter, including senior Jeff Gottschall’s third of the contest, to put Harvard ahead, 7-4, with 4:30 remaining in the half. However, Yale bolted out of the locker room in the second half, scoring three goals in the third and three more in the fourth to steal a 10-8 lead. Bulldogs captain Scott Kenworthy scored three goals, and sophomore attack Dan Brillman added two more to put the home team ahead with 10:43 remaining in the game. Yet, it would be the Crimson who had the last bite as Gottschall added his fourth of the game, and rookie Evan Calvert tied the game at ten to set up McBride’s dramatic game-winner. Harvard has had a flair for the dramatic recently, as four of their last five league games have been decided by two goals or less. Penn 7, Loyola 5 In non-league action, the No. 17 Quakers won their second straight game and sixth of their last eight with a 7-5 victory over the Greyhounds at Diane Geppi-Aikens Field in Baltimore, Md. last Saturday. Penn wasted no time getting on the board after the opening face-off, scoring three goals in the first quarter — including an acrobatic shot by sophomore James Riordan with four seconds left. However, the Greyhounds bounced right back with four unanswered tallies in the second quarter before Penn senior Patrick Connelly notched his first career collegiate goal to even the game up at 4-4 going into the second half. Loyola’s Cory Coffman opened the scoring in the third quarter, netting an unassisted goal with 3:26 left to give the Greyhounds a 5-4 lead. Yet, the remainder of the game belonged to the Ivy Leaguers, as Penn starters Will Phillips and Luke Dixson notched their second goals of the game and senior goalie Ryan Kelly shut down the home team to preserve the Quakers’ 7-5 win. Phillips, a senior out of Annapolis, Md., will be looking for his 100th career point in the Quakers’ regular-season finale at Maryland on May 8. The attack currently has 55 goals and 42 assists (97 points) in his career. Archived article by Kyle Sheahen