Jackson Pleads Innocent
Michael Jackson pleaded innocent last Friday in Santa Monica, California, to a ten-count felony indictment that enlarges his child-molestation case. Jackson held a press conference immediately following his arraignment thanking fans and expressing his love. “I love the community of Santa Maria very much,” Jackson said. “I love the people. I will always love the people.” Well that’s not going to get you out of this mess, Michael! Uh, sorry I sidetracked. Anyway, the prosecution has also expanded their case against Jackson, including a conspiracy count alleging that the singer participated in child abduction, false imprisonment, and extortion. Additionally, the indictment charges Jackson with four counts of committing lewd acts on a child under the age of 14. He also faces four counts of plying the child, ID’d as “John Doe,” with alcohol, and one count of trying to get the child to commit a lewd act on his “body and certain parts.” Wow, Jackson is going to have a fun summer.
Governor Bobblehead
Arnold Schwarzenegger is threatening to sue an Ohio company for selling a bobblehead doll in his image. The doll wears a suit and carries a machine gun and retails for $19.99, also coming with a “collectors box” containing pictures of Schwarzenegger. The site in question, www.bosleybobbers.com, also sells bobbleheads of John Kerry, Wesley Clark, and Howard Dean for $19.99 apiece. George W. Bush is a bargain at only $14.95, so really, Schwarzenegger shouldn’t be very angry; at least he isn’t the cheapest one. Legal folks from Oak Productions, Arnold’s company, contacted Todd Bosley, head of Bosley Bobbing Head Doll Company, and ordered him to cease distributing the Arnold doll. “It is well known that Oak Productions does not permit the use of Mr. Schwarzenegger’s publicity rights on commercial products in the United States, or on packaging or advertisements for such products, except in connection with his movies,” the letter stated. “The market value of Mr. Schwarzenegger’s name, photograph and likeness for commercial purposes is worth millions of dollars. Therefore, Oak Productions has legal claims against you for compensatory damages in that amount.” Schwarzenegger’s lawyers have given the company 48 hours to comply.
Trump Trumps Knauss
Donald Trump popped the question to girlfriend, model Melanie Knauss, last week. Knauss was seen sporting a “flawless” 12-carat engagement ring. By comparison, J. Lo’s ring was a mere 6 carats. The couple has been together for the last five years. No wedding date has been set, presumably to give Trump’s lawyers enough time to draft the prenup. This will be the third time for him to walk down the aisle. Trump’s previous marriages to Ivana and Marla Maples ended in divorce.
Advertisers Fight for Pricey Finale
NBC, the network airing the Friends finale which airs tonight (May 6), has offered advertisers 30-second commercials for a hefty $2 million each. This rate is the highest ever charged for a sitcom, and it falls just short of the record $2.3 million average fee charged at this year’s Super Bowl. According to the Wall Street Journal, advertisers like Allstate, Anheuser-Busch, General Motors, Hewlett-Packard and General Electric (NBC’s parent corporation) have already signed up, hoping that the finale will be enough to lure the 40-50 million viewers that media analysts predict will tune in as the show wraps up its 10-year run.
Archived article by Amanda Hodes