September 23, 2004

Entertainment News

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Britney Hitched Again

In true pop star style, Britney Spears had a super-secret wedding last Saturday night to her back-up dancer fiancee, Kevin Federline. Spears” publicist confirmed that the couple got married in a family-only ceremony in Los Angeles, and even those guests did not know of the ceremony until the last minute. There had been earlier reports that the couple had sent out invitations for an October 16th wedding for at least 200 people at her Louisiana home or Los Angeles, but the duo opted-out. According to Star, the nuptials took place at 7:30p.m. at the modest home of the man who designed the tuxedos for Federline and the groomsmen. The tailor is reportedly the ex-husband of the wedding planner and contributed to keeping the wedding as low-key and sensitive as possible. Spears apparently wore a strapless Monique L”Huillier, complete with a veil and a tiara. If you happen to have gotten this far in this splendid article about Britney Spears, than I pity you. I really pity you.

As If This Would Ever Surprise Me

Well, it”s not like we actually thought that Macaulay Culkin would come out normal. I mean, really. Apparently, the former child star was arrested and booked into the Oklahoma County Jail last Friday afternoon on drug possession charges, according to the Oklahoma County Sheriff”s department. At around four o-clock Friday Macaulay and his friend were traveling down Interstate 44 in Northeast Oklahoma City, and they were pulled over going 70mph in a 60mph zone (a travesty). Anyway, after a cursory search of Culkin and his friend, the cop asked to search the car. He found 17.3 grams of Marijuana in the car, handcuffed Culkin, and took him to jail. In addition to the Marijuana charge, he was also charged for possession of eight Xanax pills (oh, the tragedy), and 32 milligrams of Clonazepam, a ‘potentially’ addictive sedative to treat seizures (only potentially addictive?). Ahh, so much money and nothing to do.

Sick and Disturbing

So let”s lay out the facts: Mary-Kate Olsen goes to rehab for her apparent eating disorder, both girls look like emaciated fourteen years-olds, and both reputedly eat meals that consist of them sharing a muffin for breakfast or sharing a bowl of soup for dinner. And now they have been chosen to be the new spokespeople for Happy Meals at French chains of McDonald”s? Hmm, somehow I think I am missing something in this logic. The Happy Meals will be accompanied by Olsen-themed goodies. The twins were probably pleased to pick up the food-themed endorsement considering that they were recently dropped from the Milk Processor Education Program”s ‘Got Milk?’ campaign as a result of Mary Kate”s eating problems. At the rate they are going, it would probably be more suitable for the Happy Meal to contain no food at all and just come with the toy.

Rick James Dies of ‘Natural Causes’

While James” label announced that he died of natural causes, the Los Angeles coroner”s report released last Thursday says that his death was indeed ‘accidental’ but also reported that there were no fewer than nine drugs in his system. The drugs found are as follows: Cocaine, Crystal Meth, Xanax, Valium, Wellbutrin,, Celexa, Digoxin, Chlorpheniramine, and Vicodin. No drug was found in ‘lethal’ quantities, hence the ‘accidental’ ruling. I beginning to ‘doubt’ this ‘accidental thing.’

Archived article by Amanda Hodes