By January 27, 2005
Being a teenager sure is hard! Add to the mix a way-hotter sister, an epic battle with acid-reflux disease, a band so inept that they make their leading lady look like Milli Vanilli and a less-than gracious welcome from 72,000 hammered college football fans and well, that would be enough to cause any alienated youth to dye her hair black in rage and despair. Indeed, it’s been a rocky few months for Jessica Simpson’s kid sister. To date, over 156,000 concerned Internet users, apparently disillusioned by Ms. Simpson’s inability to meet the sky-high musical standards usually held by those who endorse online petitions, have signed a document demanding an end to our dear Ashlee’s “horrible singing.” And, in case that’s not enough for one rebel girl to handle, a reputable fashion magazine has recently decided to yank fair Ashlee from their cover. How does it feel when a magazine no longer wants your mug on their cover? In such harrowing times, we turn to you, oh wise publicist, for some answers to explain the inexplicable. And this is what we get from you: “We were less than thrilled when they alerted us that they would be revoking this cover offer.” Hmm, let’s see. Exposing yourself as a fraud on a well-known late-night sketch comedy show, demonstrating to a crowd of 72,000 why your lip-synching is better for everyone involved and accumulating scores of bitter adversaries on the Internet, eventually culminating in being released from the cover slot of a prestigious fashion mag? Hmm, I guess that would be “less than thrilling.” Of course, publicists have seen more troubling labor than cleaning up the image of a less than vocally gifted teen idol. Such was the fate of one Allan Mayer, R. Kelly’s publicist. As an anxious public dealt with the fact that the man who helped children believe that they can fly (along with touch the sky and soar, if they are so inclined), was videotaping himself doing the horizontal horah with the Bat Mitzvah-aged set, they turned to the publicist for answers. Instead, we get this: “We have heard second-hand reports that the tape allegedly shows consenting adults, including someone identified as R. Kelly, engaged in sexual activity. Since we haven’t seen the tape, we cannot confirm or deny that it is in fact Mr. Kelly. We can, however, confirm that no one is suggesting the tape depicts anything but the activities of consenting adults.” Of course, celebrity publicists do more than clean up after their clients’ messes. They also remind us that stars are people just like you and me! After recovering from what Olsen rep Michael Pagnotta coined a “health related disorder,” Mr. Pagnotta informed the public that the twins were “pleased with their apartment,” which just so happens to be a $7.3 million penthouse with two master bedrooms. Well, buddy, thanks for clearing that one up!Archived article by Talia RonSun Staff Writer
By January 27, 2005
In his suicide note, Kurt Cobain quoted Neil Young’s “Hey Hey Hey” with “It’s better to burn out than to fade away.” Cobain’s choice of such prolific lyrics have been used to express the singer’s mindset and can even be extended to explain his cremation. In any case, it seems Cobain was cremated after death, and his remains were divided. One third of Cobain’s remains went to his mother, one third went to Courtney Love and the last third of Cobain’s remains is rumored to reside in, of all places, our very own Ithaca, N.Y. As all Nirvana fans can attest to, Kurt Cobain had an almost messianic presence during his lifetime. His influence on the Seattle music scene in the 1990s helped bring alternative “grunge” music to the forefront of American popular culture, and the album “Nevermind,” which featured a naked baby underwater chasing a dollar bill, continually makes it to the top of Rolling Stone’s and other’s compilations of the best albums of all time. Songs like “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” “Come As You Are,” “Lithium” and “Heart Shaped Box” all became the anthems of Generation X. Cobain’s untimely death on April 8, 1994 at the height of Nirvana’s fame led to the usual conspiracy-theories and copycat backlash one might expect when a beloved rocker takes his own life. Ten years later, there are entire websites, an investigative book entitled Who Killed Kurt Cobain and one documentary film, Kurt and Courtney, devoted to proving that Courtney Love, not heroine and a shotgun, were the cause of death. But why Ithaca? It is hard to believe that such an alt-rock legend would be buried in Ithaca, N.Y. but according to several unsubstantiated Internet sources, the rumors are true. The Buddhist temple in which Courtney placed Kurt’s cremated ashes is apparently one of several temples in the area. Visitithaca.com lists just about everything there is to do in the Ithaca area, but there is no mention of Kurt Cobain or any of the Buddhist temple, the name of which is not publicized. It is somewhat surprising that a shrine to someone like Kurt Cobain remains so unbothered. Where are the pilgrimages to the grunge god’s grave? As television shows like “I Love the 90s” and its follow-up, “I love the 90s Part Deux,” make evident, Generation X is still very much alive, as is interest in Kurt Cobain, his music and his death. Such interest has been fueled by last year’s release of the Nirvana box set, the publication of Cobain’s personal journals and Courtney Love’s continued antics help keep Cobain in the public’s memory. Perhaps this disconnect can be blamed on the lack of a link between Kurt Cobain and Ithaca, NY. The two don’t really fit together. Ithaca is known for many things: its wineries, its weather and of course Cornell University; maybe its time to add Kurt’s burial site to the list. Archived article by Logan BromerSun Staff Writer