February 17, 2005

Campus Couture

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In February, fashion is not number one on most people’s minds. We’re sick of sweaters and boots, but it is still too cold for our spring attire. Given the lack of stylish mid-winter clothing, we were forced to find another source of inspiration. Luckily, we discovered it in the form of the “I’ll have your baby Brad” t-shirt. So read on for the tackiest apparel you should never, EVER wear.

I’ll Have Your Baby Brad T-shirt

As if Jennifer Aniston hasn’t been through enough already, now she’ll have to deal with pathetic Brad groupies bouncing around in this t-shirt. We thought that the “I love (insert name of over-hyped male celebrity here)” shirts were bad enough, but this crosses the line from funny to tasteless.

Tiara Cowboy Hat

You may be the center of attention in this hat, but we can’t promise that the attention will be good. We’re all about wearing hats to add a little extra to your usual style, but this combination just doesn’t work. Are you a pretty princess or a rowdy cowgirl? Make up your mind!

Tylie Boots

We know that we bash winter boots week after week, but we can’t help it. The styles just keep getting more and more hideous. The design on these boots reminds us of a tattoo that a drunken biker would get in the back of a van during a Harley rendez-vous. Some of you have the money to spare, but just think: $400 is a semester’s worth of frozen yogurt at Jason’s!

Big Cock T-shirt

When we see a guy wearing this shirt, we’re not impressed — we just think he’s a little insecure. If it’s really that big, there’s no need to advertise it on your shirt; the girl you hooked up with last weekend will already have told all her friends. The only big cock we see is the guy who is lame enough to wear this tasteless shirt.

Plaid Bucket Hat

This hat evokes the image of a cute, old man driving around the golf course in his little cart. However, if you’re under the age of 75, a pastel plaid hat is just tacky. You may think it fits your preppy style perfect for the country club, but along with your pink polo, madras shorts and penny loafers, you look like you belong in an LL Bean advertisement. And trust us, that’s not a good thing.

Men’s Capri Pants

Are your shorts too long or are your pants too short? Girls can pull this one off, but on guys it just looks stupid. Sporting pants this length means you’d better have silky smooth legs and painted toenails. If you’ve made this mistake in the past we’ll forgive you, but from now on please leave this trend to the ladies.

Archived article by Katie Azzaro and Jessica Karp