December 1, 2005

Home For the Holidays

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I wound up being home for a whole week during Thanksgiving break. Ample time I should have used to catch up on pesky reading I’ve been avoiding for an entire semester, but instead I spent listless days sitting back and wasting away brain cells watching endless hours of mindless TV. I watched TV until I lived, breathed and tasted in High Definition; until pixels of red, green and blue continued to dance around in my head long after I ceased looking at the demented boob tube and until I even dreamed in Technicolor.

I don’t get to watch much television at school, so trips back home become my time to catch up on what I’ve missed. But I always end up realizing that I haven’t missed out at all, as I honestly believe there is just way too much crap on basic cable these days. Case in point: you know the world is spinning off its axis when the main headline of a world news report is the latest gossip that Tom Cruise bought a personal sonogram for his wifey with child, Katie Holmes. Really?! This is world news? Because I dunno, I thought maybe this war we’re fighting or this deficit we’re sinking into would be a bit more newsworthy than a kook buying an expensive piece of machinery. And don’t you long for the days when music television was just that, back when you didn’t have to wait until the wee hours of the morning to watch music videos in their entirety? Can I please turn to a music channel and see music being played? Not reality TV contestants vying again and again for the spotlight?

Yet with all its faults, I couldn’t pull myself away. I was sucked in, unable to control the urge to be queen bee and ruler of the remote for a seven-day stretch or to see what was on channel 21, 30 and 21 again, just for the hell of it, because I could. And from that channel surfing, I’ve drudged up some highlights and lowlights of my misadventure in TV land.

Being Bobby Brown
I’m late, but there was a marathon of this madness on Bravo playing Thanksgiving day. I must say there are no words to express my thoughts on the oddity that is the union of Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston. I found myself torn between emotions; wanting to laugh but then seriously beginning to worry for the safety of any human being entrusted in this un-winsome pair’s care. And I am so disappointed in Whitney, looking a straight up mess on the show which should have worked in her favor being that Brown executive produced. And not even a hot mess. Now that’s just wrong.

Project Runway! Part Deux!
I just saw the promos for the next installment in this series and while I’ll probably miss it, I’m excited no less! I loved Jesus-impersonator/designer extraordinaire Jay and his magnificent photo spread in Elle. If the new batch of wannabe designers can create anything near the perfection that Kara Saun could dream up, then I think Project Runway will have another stellar season.

Madonna – Hung Up
This music video is hilarious. Madonna humps a boom box, repeatedly. Madonna humps everyone in sight during a street dance-off scene. And you get to see Madonna doing a weird and quite unsexy robotic dance on what appears to be a DDR machine. Despite the weirdness, it is a cameo by the kids of crunk from the movie Rize manifested in a stunning dance sequence that makes the video a pleasant surprise. I’m glad to see the talented documentary cast getting more exposure.

Making the Band 3
I’ve always believed that Diddy was letting his bad boy-ness get to his head. The sad thing is that P. is probably 100% serious when he does the strangest things like introduce his furry canine friend Cha Cha, an animal accessory a la Paris Hilton and crew on camera, or when he throws tantrums and insists on “breaking down” the musical hopefuls of the show. Most of all, the guy is crazy for forming and disbanding girl music groups faster than it took the kids from the show’s first season to travel cross town and inter-borough to pick up cheesecake. I’m sorry, but when is everyone involved in this project going to realize that there is never going to be a third band? There never will be. Diddy is either obligated to see his contract with MTV to completion or is just sucking the life out of it for publicity and exposure – the latter being the more probable reason. Notorious B.I.G. is coming out with a new album in stores soon. There rests my explanation.

Archived article by Sophia Asare
Sun Staff Writer