Evidently some chick (see below) didn’t notice that we had a snow day last week. That’s pretty incredible. It’s not so crazy, though, I guess. I know people who found out classes were cancelled via their parents. And someone told me that he knew classes were cancelled, but “accidently” went to his evening class. Wow. Anyhow, you know the drill, send the best stuff you hear to email@example.com, and look for your submissions every Thursday in Daze.
Dude: Yo, what did you do on the snow day?
Chick: We had a snow day?
— Ho Plaza
Sorority girl #1: What’s a salt bagel?
Sorority girl #2: A bagel with like, lots of salt.
Sorority girl #1: I don’t even know what that means!
— Libe Cafe
“Kangaroo pouches are sexy” … “Me too”
— written on desk in library
Guy 1: I told you ’bout her already.
Guy 2: But you never said sexually retarded.
Guy 1: Well, I meant sexually inert.
Guy 2: Ah okay, like a noble gas.
Guy 1: Haha.
Guy 2: Highly unreactive, but maybe with a lot of energy.
Guy 1: Was that a joke your prof. made in class?
Guy 2: You could make a bond.
Guy 2: Nah, not at all.
— Outside Alice Cook Dining
“wrath of buddha”
— etched into desk in Uris Cocktail Lounge
Sketchy guy (on cell phone): Hey can you do me a favour? Can you get my underwear from your parents’ bedroom? I don’t want it to be awkward or anything …
— Ho Plaza
Cheesy country tune comes on the overhead sound system…
Annoyed girl to girlfriends: Oh my god I cannot take another country song, my roommate plays it ALL the time. Seriously it just … it makes me want to punch a baby!!
Prepared-to-flunk-LSAT-girl: Well, if I can’t be a lawyer, I can be a secretary.
— Uris Library
“I want Apple Jacks”
— carved into chair at library
Girl: Where are you going for spring break?
Wild Springbreaker: Well, I was thinking of heading down to the Commons for a bit.
Guy on phone: Classes are cancelled! … I know, right! … This is better than Hurricane Katrina! … Dude now that’s just wrong….
— Arts Quad