June 14, 2007

Farfur the Resistance Mouse is No Joe Camel

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The Left has always believed that advertising campaigns pose a threat to the survival of our nation. This is why liberals have led historic crusades against these diabolical marketing tools. History has shown us time and again that only the Democrats have the backbone to confront the evils of influential advertising. Their resolve has saved our country from some of its most menacing foes.

Liberals successfully defeated prejudice personified, ridding the world of racist figureheads like the University of Illinois’ Chief Illiniwek, the Atlanta Braves’ Chief Noc-A-Homa and the University of Tennessee’s Chief Moccanooga. Their long headdresses undermine diversity and spurn multiculturalism; their battle dances instill in the crowd a white supremacist attitude. Those that oppose this intrepid quest for tolerance want to bring back Jim Crow; only the Left has the determination to engage these racists. Other opponents, like the Seminole Tribe, see these mascots as a badge of honor; they do not realize that discriminatory mascots threaten the security of our nation. Although they have not banished every offensive mascot, there is little doubt in my mind that lion-hearted liberals will someday vanquish all of these enemies of freedom.

The most famous of these campaigns led to the destruction of the devil incarnate: “Old” Joe Camel. Old Joe endangered the very existence of our nation. His winning smile poisoned the minds of our nation’s children; his sunglasses advocated the pollution of our skies. Joe Camel needed to be stopped and only liberals had the stones to do it: the battle for America’s soul had begun. The tenacity of the Democratic congress ensured that when the smoke cleared after this epic battle, the smoke actually cleared.

Islamofascists have found their own Joe Camel in Farfur the “Resistance Mouse.” Farfur is a mirror image of Mickey Mouse (Islamofascists are not known for their creativity, originality, productivity or any characteristic that isn’t hateful, backward and evil). The mouse, appearing on Hamas-run Al-Aqsa television station, entertains children by teaching them to fight and kill “the Jews.”

Democrats, who criticized Bush for refusing to acknowledge the Hamas administration in Palestine, have not condemned their calls for jihad. Party leaders are still debating the issue, in order to determine whether A) Farfur represents a threat to America B) children are the target audience for Mickey Mouse. Given their rich history in fighting against influential promotional campaigns, we should hear from them soon.

Then again the Left also has a long history of tolerating and supporting anti-American thought, undermining war making efforts for votes and retreating from politically incorrect threats. Their silence makes the Democratic party platform quite clear: Farfur the “Resistance Mouse” is no Joe Camel.